Thursday, February 18, 2010

Double Cork Ten-Eighty

Winter Olympics.

Not the most thrilling of things to watch.

Or so I thought.

Until you throw in some Aussie cricket and football commentators whose knowledge of Olympic Winter sports was learned in a "Dummies Guide To..." which they read in the plane going from Australia to Vancouver.
And really, why would they know anything about these sports? Luge isn't exactly part of the PE curriculum over here.

Chuck in a few nutty American snowboarders competing in an event called "Men's Halfpipe" (which sounds likes something you'd smoke at a frat party) and my flatmate Kate and I are glued to the TV at 3.15pm on a Thursday afternoon.

Kate's theory is that
winter sports are far more enjoyable to watch than say, rowing, due to the potential for crashes, which is much higher and therefore makes it more exciting.

In fact, to quote her directly... "
Thing is, if people come a gutser, they're fucked"

Words of wisdom from Commentator Kate.

The other aspect I find fascinating is the lingo. The halfpipe (snowboarding) lingo is bloody hilarious.

Some of the more classic terms heard this afternoon (from James Brayshaw no less... an expert snowboarder in his own right, I'm sure):

  • Double cork ten-eighty.
  • Landing switch.
  • The double McTwist, twelve-sixty.
  • Front-side twelve-sixty
  • Massive backside air... (otherwise known as a fart?)

Seriously - who comes up with this terminology? Did someone just make it up to have a giggle at James Brayshaw's expense?

And what's with all the rangas? Is it a rule of halfpipe that you must have long, messy, red hair and more facial hair than Joaquin Phoenix at his worst?

Classic stuff indeed.

Monday, February 15, 2010

2009: The Year in Review

Going back through the archives, I discovered an old meme, which I think it might be interesting to repeat.

Lots of changes in that time. Which is great, because if there weren't, I'd probably have to go and top myself. And then I'd miss out on so many wonderful things.

Anyway, let's get stuck into it, shall we?

1. What did you do in 2009 that you hadn't done before?

Moved to Melbourne would be the major thing.

2. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Sadly, the answer to this one is the same as it was back in 2005.

For those who don't remember that answer (or choose not to link back), the answer then (as it is now) was:

I think the question should be “Did anyone close to you
NOT give birth?”. Would make for a shorter answer that way.

All I will add to that is that in April/May this year, I have no less than 10 friends giving birth. TEN. Fucking ridiculous, if you'll excuse my French. I might as well go and take out shares in Hallmark.

3. Did anyone close to you die?

Trying to think back, but no. No one did. A couple of distant relatives and friends of my parents, but no one I was close to.

4. Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory?

Europe was the biggie in 2009 - London for Ems wedding (and a week of shopping and drinking with loads of UK mates), followed by Sweden with the lovely Charlotte & co, followed by Belgium for Ems wedding (part deux). Short trips to Sydney and Adelaide were also undertaken.

Best holiday memory is of cycling along the Thames with my friend Alina, stopping off in various pubs for Pimms and Pear Cider. Oh how I miss London.

5. Best thing you bought?

French Sole shoes. I'm getting quite the collection.
The fact they deliver to Australia has not helped my bank balance any.

6. Where did most of your money go?

Travel, living expenses (rent, phone, utilities, etc) and French Sole shoes. Pretty much in that order.

7. What do you wish you had done more of?

Writing. And getting out and seeing the sights of my new home town.

8. What do you wish you had done less of?

Same answer as 2005. Procrastinating. I’m the world’s best procrastinator.

9. What kept you sane?

Same answer as 2005. Music. Music always keeps me sane.

10. What drove you mad?

Not a lot really. I've become rather zen in my old age.

11. What made you celebrate?

Moving to Melbourne, Obama's inauguration, getting work, Ems' wedding, Brutha's 40th birthday... there were lots of celebrations in 2009.

12. What made you sad?

Not being able to stay in the UK longer.

13. How was your birthday this year?

Pretty good. My flatmates spoiled me and I had a quiet, but happy, day.

14. What political issue stirred you the most this year?

Tony Abbott. Douchebag. Fucktart. He's a total political issue on his own. Don't even get me started.

15. Were you in love in 2009?

I decided in 2009 that I would fall in love with myself. It's a slow process, but it seems to be going ok.

16. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn't have this year?

A pretty new Schwinn Debutante. How cute is that cup holder?

17. What date from 2009 will be etched in your memory and why?

31 January. The day I left my life in Sydney and drove to Melbourne to start a new one.

18. What song will remind you of 2009?

Probably 'Empire State of Mind' by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys (which my flatmate adored and played constantly) and anything by the cast of Glee.

19. Compared to this time last year are you happier?

Much. I've accepted things about myself that I couldn't before and I'm re-thinking how I'm choosing to live my life. I've also stopped putting so much pressure on myself and am learning to go with the flow.

20. Biggest achievement this year?

Moving cities. And managing to scrape together enough money (and credit!) to attend Ems' wedding in Europe.

21. Biggest disappointment this year?

Leaving the UK. It really is the one thing that makes life difficult for me... knowing I can't ever live permanently there.

22. What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?

Being able to afford a place of my own.

23. Best new person you met this year?

Can't really narrow it down to one - I've met so many amazing new people in Melbourne, who have welcomed me to their wonderful city with open arms.

24. A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?

If you apply the Yazz principle to life, you'll be a lot less stressed. I've had to use it at least twice in 2009 and both those times it worked rather well.

25. A question you made up yourself?

Bevis made that one up back in 2005. So I don't think it's right to try and change it, even if he's not in the blogosphere anymore. Besides which I still don’t think I can make up a better one.

And that's it bar the tagging. Which is sooooo 2005, so I've decided I'm not going to do it. If anyone wants to have a go, feel free.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

To Cut A Long Story Short...

I've lost my mind.

No. Really. I have.

You see I've only just decided that I'm desperate to see these boys:

Hands up who thinks Steve Norman and Martin Kemp are still rather dishy?

You may recall an earlier post of mine which touched upon this subject. If you're a long-time reader of this blog, you may even recall my history with the Spandau boys, which dates back quite a long way.

So why not just go and buy a ticket, I hear you ask?

If only it were that simple.

Actually, it is. I have a credit card. I could put a ticket on that. And I'm sure there'd be one or two mates who would lower their standards to accompany me out for the night.

However, in the first instance, I am trying to save money. And watching a tubby, sweaty Tony Hadley jump around the stage would probably give me the same sense of impending doom I felt while watching a tubby, sweaty Simon Le Bon jump around the stage a few years ago when Duran Duran
supported Robbie Williams. Not to mention make me question just why I worked my ass off to earn enough money to pay for the ticket.

In fact, if it wasn't for the fact John Taylor looked as gorgeous that day as he did back in his heyday, I probably would have taken myself off to the bar until Robbie came on stage.

Don't believe me? Compare if you will:



Admit it. He's still totally do-able. Probably even more so now that he's stopped wearing so much make-up and filled out a bit.

But I digress.

Spandau Ballet.



Sorry about that.

Excuse me while I just go and splash some cold water on my face.

Well, anyway, in the second instance, my lovely friend who was the ticketing exec at Rod Laver Arena has left. He's the one who got me freebies for Liza. (You know, Liza. With a 'Z'. She was bonkers in the extreme, but very entertaining). And the two lovely friends who were in the running to take over the job from him didn't get it. Bugger.

So my opportunity for a sneaky freebie has gone by the wayside somewhat.

Thirdly, all the standing tix are sold out already. And whilst I was willing to fork out $149.90 for a standing ticket (the reasoning being I could quite conceivably, with a bit of pushing and shoving, get myself close enough to the stage to slip Steve Norman my phone number), the thought of sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair for the whole gig doesn't fill me with much joy. I need to dance at this gig. Or at the very least bounce around on the floor.


What to do? What to do?

I'll cut it short there and go and ponder some more.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


Yes folks, that day has arrived.

I was just reminded by the wonderful Kathie that today is 9 February 2010. Or in other words, 90210.


(Thanks Kathie!)

I adored this show when it first aired back in 1990.

I took most of my fashion tips from Kelly Taylor... I think I still have that red blazer somewhere at my mum's house.

I adored Dylan, but wouldn't have turned down Brandon either.

I thought Donna was weird looking. (I still do)

Sometime after Dylan left it all went downhill. I stopped watching around the time I left for the States in 1995... I can't remember exactly when but I think it had plenty to do with Valerie. I never took to her as a Brenda replacement.

But still. Top show.

Happy 90210 day!

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Yesterday my family lost a very special person.

He was the father of my oldest friend, the husband of my mother's best friend, and one of my late father's best friends.

He'd been unwell for sometime with alzheimer's, but somehow kept plugging away, hanging on to the life he loved and staying with the family he adored. Until yesterday morning when he suffered a seizure and passed away.

He was truly a wonderful gentleman, and I say gentleman in every sense of the word. He was kind, caring, honest, patient, hard working, funny, loving and decent. After my dad died, he became my surrogate dad, and always looked out for my mum, for which I will be eternally grateful.

The last time I saw him was in November last year, when I was visiting Adelaide for my brother's birthday. He was in the hospital, after having had a bad fall, but was actually the brightest I'd seen him in ages. We had a lovely chat about life, the universe and everything and I will always be grateful that our final meeting was one where he seemed at his brightest and most lucid.

R.I.P. Barry. You will be missed.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Short Distraction

My writing skills are being tested by having to do something I've not done in over a year... apply for a job. There's very few jobs I've done in the last ten years which I've actually had to apply for, unless you count auditions. I feel a bit rusty, truth be told.

Anyway, the application is
due tomorrow and I'm almost done, but thought I'd take a quick break over here for a minute before going back and making sure it has that perfect balance of truth and wank.

Which, let's face it, is what all good job applications must contain. Three years and a university course in HR taught me that (if nothing else).

I'm not even entirely sure I want the job, but I've been bitching about wanting to get into this particular area of the arts for a while now and I think it might be just what I need.

So I'm going for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they* say.

Will keep y'all posted.

Back soon.

* Who exactly are 'they'? Your opinions are appreciated.