Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Aaaaand, breathe.

Actually, it's ok to just chill and do nothing. This is what I have to tell myself.

I'm up in the Catskills and I'm putting pressure on myself to write. To create. To churn out that book I've been yabbering on about for ages.

But nothing's happening. A few pages here and there, but my brain jumps from idea to idea and I find myself getting distracted.

I'm also feeling a bit poorly. Every morning since I've gotten here I've woken up feeling dizzy, with the room spinning... the first two mornings I was physically sick. Yesterday was a lot better but today it's returned with a vengance.

I think it might be the lack of air flow in the cottage and the fact the bed is up in a loft area. There are windows and they do have screens, but despite that, there are these pesky black bugs that are a cross between a fly and a roach, which manage to make their way in of a night if any window is left open. There are no fans either, which is a bit of a pain since there's not much of a breeze.

I'm usually alright by about midday, but then I feel like I've wasted half the day so I berate myself for doing that.

But maybe it's just my body's way of telling me to slow down. After all, this is my first proper holiday in 3 years.

So I'm telling myself to breathe. And just be. I'm in one of the most gorgeous places on earth, I don't HAVE to do anything or be anywhere, for another couple of days at least, so I need to just step back and enjoy it.

Starting now.

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