Thursday, July 26, 2012

No, they're not. Get over it.

*Warning.  This post could be accused of being shallow.  It is.*

It is a truth universally acknowledged that not all men and women are attractive.  There are varying degrees of attractive, but in all honesty, there are some people on this planet who are downright ugly.  That's cool - usually they've got some redeeming quality like brains, or kindness, or imagination to compensate.  And it works both ways.  There are some stunningly attractive people in the world who are (pardon my bluntness), dumb as shit.  That's cool too.  When you're hot, you can generally survive on the fact that other people (blinded by your beauty) will help you out with tasks that might be beyond you - like changing a tyre on your car, identifying a type of vegetable, or filling out your tax return.

So, if the world is full of attractive adults and ugly adults and everything in between, then it stands to reason that babies (ie what these attractive and ugly adults all were before they grew up) fall into those categories too.



It would appear not.

Am I the only person who's honest enough to say that not all babies are cute?  There are some seriously unattractive babies out there. Many of them pop up on the newsfeed of my facebook page, as they belong to people I'm friends with, usually with the caption "my beautiful child".  Many's the time I'm tempted to comment "woah - your kid looks like an alien!".  But I can't write that.  I can't write "holy crap, that kid is minging".  No. The only acceptable comment I'm allowed to make would be along the lines of "oh, isn't he/she adorable. What a beautiful child".  

But I can't bring myself to do it, so I just don't comment and usually have to force my fingers away from the keyboard, lest they type something I'll later regret. (I do however, comment quite enthusiastically on the attractive ones)

Now before you start on that I must hate kids, stop right there. I love kids. My nieces and god-children are loved beyond measure by their Aunty M.  I would walk through fire for each and every one of them.  Some of my friends' kids are adorable as well.  In fact, some of them have produced the most stunning babies the world has ever seen (Stevo, Sal, Emsie B, I'm looking at you).  But some of my friends (and relatives - my gene pool's not immune) have given birth to some really, really, ugly babies.  Hopefully, they'll be blessed with brains, charm and a quick wit. They'll need it.  They may even grow up to be beautiful. Some ugly babies do, you know. Just as some beautiful babies suddenly turn unattractive when they reach adulthood.  Nature's quirky like that.

All I'm saying is that not all babies are beautiful.  End of.

(Also, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and my fingers away from the keyboard when ugly baby photos pop up in my newsfeed.)


elaine said...

I Love this post so much.

I get told off for saying to people that when my baby is a newborn, it will have an ugly squashed up head. FACT. Cue responses: you won't think that about your own baby, babies are adorable, etc. etc. Nope, newborns are generally pretty weird looking.

And as they grow, some don't get any better.

Some start out looking weird and minging but end up ok. (see: Bindi Irwin)

some start out cute as all get out and end up not (see: Gary Coleman)

magical_m said...

It's true! Newborns ARE generally pretty weird looking. Let's face it... squish anyone's head through a narrow space for long enough and they're going to look pretty bloody horrendous.

Agreed on Bindi & Gary. Excellent examples.