The A-Z Alphabet Movie Meme

Greetings. Today's post is stolen brought to you by the lovely Pandora, who nicked it borrowed it from The Plastic Mancunian.

(I'm sitting here waiting for my iPhone to do some ridiculous update which will no doubt make the whole contraption run even slower than it currently is, so I figure this is as good a use of my time as any. Plus, it's a bloody good meme.)


A is for Anticipated Movie for 2014
Call me a nerd, but I'm excited for Guardians of the Galaxy. It'll be like an anti-Marvel, Marvel movie. As a rule, I'm not generally a fan of Thor, Iron-Man, Avengers, et al, but I am an ardent fan of some of their villains (hello, Loki and Justin Hammer) so I tend to see most of them. Plus, I ADORE Chris Pratt. If you've never watched the awesome Parks and Recreation, I encourage you to do so. He is hilarious.

Since I adore Pratt (and Parks and Rec), I'm also looking forward to seeing The Lego Movie. [ducks for cover]. I mean c'mon you guys - it has Nick Offerman! He and Pratt are an awesome combination, even in animation!

B is for Book Adaptation I'd like to see
Since they royally fucked up Bret Easton Ellis' Less Than Zero, I kinda have this weird desire to see what they would do with the (written much later after the first movie was made) sequel - Imperial Bedrooms. Yeah.  Try bringing back the main character you killed off at the end of the movie who didn't die in the book WITHOUT resorting to Dallas-style dream sequences and Sliding Doors-style AU's, you muppets. 

C is for Celebrity I'd like to meet
Emma Thompson. I reckon she's probably capital B, BONKERS, but crack open a bottle of wine and bring out a cheese plate and I reckon we could natter quite happily for hours.

D is for Dream director / Actor pairing
Hmmmmm... well. I wouldn't necessarily call it a 'dream' pairing, but I'd really like to see Kenneth Branagh directing Emma Thompson now that they're divorced. With Helena Bonham-Carter co-starring.  I know, I know, it's evil of me, but I reckon there'd be a crackling dynamic going on.

E is for Essential Classic Movie
The Philadelphia Story. Not only is it an awesome movie, with one of my all-time favourite actresses, but I love that Katharine Hepburn acquired the film rights to it after starring in the play, in order to control its adaptation. This was a massive leap in women's rights in Hollywood at the time.

F is for Favourite Film Franchise
OK, I'll say it. I'm not ashamed. DIE HARD. I love the original. I love the much-maligned sequel (mostly because it was set in DC and I love DC) and I love the third and fourth instalments. I'm not overly fond of number five and I think they should stop, but hey. Whatevs. At least it's not Police Academy. Also, ALAN RICKMAN AND JEREMY IRONS ARE BROTHERS, Y'ALL. Need I say more?

G is for Genre I most watch
I'll pretty much watch anything except sci-fi. Or horror. (Unless it's Cabin In The Woods, 'cos you know, that had Bradley Whitford in it and I'll watch ANYTHING that Bradley Whitford is in. Even Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And I can't stand Blake Lively, so you know I'm not lying.)

H is for Hidden Gem
As a long-time John Cusack fan, I have to award this one to two of his early, slightly quirky movies. Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer. Not a lot of people have seen these movies and I'm sure Cusack (and Demi Moore in the case of the latter movie) would prefer to forget that they were ever in them, but I think they're both endearing, low-budget, slightly kooky movies, both of which I initally owned on VHS and now own on DVD. 

I is for Important Moment in my Film Life
1975. I was four. Dad took us all along to see Ingmar Bergman's film version of The Magic Flute. I clearly remember watching the final scene (where they pan out over a group of children surrounding the macking Papagena and Papageno) and saying to Dad - "It's OVER? Can we watch it again now? PLEEEEASE?". 

J is for Just right for a rainy day
Usually my rainy day viewing of choice is all 6 hours of BBC's Pride and Prejudice with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth, but if you're making me choose a movie, then I would say it would taken from a shortlist of:

- anything by Nora Ephron (most likely When Harry Met Sally)
- Girls Just Want To Have Fun
- Say Anything
- He's Just Not That Into You
- Made of Honor

Hey. It's RAINING. That's a free pass to watch absolute trash.

K is for Kiddie Movie I shamelessly enjoy
Going with Pandora on this one. The Princess Bride. Oh and The Goonies. I ADORE The Goonies. Martha Plimpton is the coolest anti-heroine ever. I'm also a big fan of Toy Story and Monsters Inc. Will happily throw those on the DVD player whenever I have little people visiting.

L is for Location I'd like to visit
I've been lucky enough to visit a lot of of the locations for my favourite movies (the resort in VA where they filmed Dirty Dancing being one of the absolute highlights), but I've never been to either Tuscany (setting for my favourite version of Much Ado About Nothing, by Branagh) or Nantucket (location of the aforementioned One Crazy Summer). They're both on my travel bucket list.

M is for movie I know by heart
There are many, but I can pretty much recite you the entire opening sequence of To Kill A Mockingbird (right up until Aunt Stephanie comes to admonish Dill for going near the Radley house) word for word, including accents and inflections. Of course, given my avatar, you'd expect nothing less, right?

N is for Netflix movie I've watched
Like Pandora said, I'm Australian. We don't have Netflix yet. I am, however, a massive "House of Cards" fan, so if they ever branch out into the Australian market, they will have my business.

O is for One movie I've watched more than once
One movie? ONE??? No. If I like a movie, chances are I will see it many, many times. I've seen To Kill A Mockingbird at least fifty times. AT LEAST. I shudder to think how many times I've seen Dirty Dancing or When Harry Met Sally or Speed or Grease. Oh no. I can't narrow it down to just one.

P is for Preferred Place to watch a movie
Palace Como on a Monday or Tuesday morning when there's NO ONE ELSE IN THE CINEMA*. It's the greatest. Plus, they let you take wine in. Even at 10am. Tell me that's not awesome.

*This has actually happened to me. Twice. Once for The Way and once for Salinger. Coincidentally, both films featured Martin Sheen. Perhaps the good folk of the South Yarra area do not care for Jed Bartlet on the big screen? More fool them. I adore him.

Q is for Quote that inspires me
Hmmmm. Inspires. Well, most recently it was from Saving Mr Banks (excellent movie and Emma Thompson was ROBBED of an Oscar nomination). I really liked Walt Disney/Tom Hank's quote: 

"... because that's what we storytellers do - we restore order with imagination. We instill hope again and again and again...".

Also (and it's from a documentary, but it's one I've always pondered over), from the fabulous Bill Cunningham (Bill Cunningham New York) in relation to his art:

"You see if you don't take money, they can't tell you what to do, kid."

Wise man. Very wise man.

As an aside... quotes I just like for no real reason and am fond of randomly dropping into conversation to keep people on their toes include:

- "There's a band!" (from Pretty Woman)
- "Next to the walkman and Tab, it's the greatest invention of the 20th century" (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)
- "Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash" (When Harry Met Sally)
- "And the quarterback IS toast" (Die Hard)


R is for Remakes: Friend or Foe
Foe. Especially the current trend of remaking 80s classics like Red Dawn, Footloose, About Last Night and Fame. I swear to god if anyone attempts a remake of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I will HUNT THEM DOWN AND SHOVE A LUMP OF COAL SO FAR UP THEIR ASS (and no, it won't become a diamond in two weeks, it'll just be horribly painful). On the topic of Fame, I went to see Megan Mullally's show last year at the Forum, and in the Q&A she actually apologised to anyone who'd paid for a ticket to see the remake of Fame. God love her. 

S is for Snack I most enjoy
Popcorn. I love popcorn. There's something about movie popcorn that just reels me in. And I have to have my own box. I don't like sharing. Ever.

T is for Twist that blows my mind
I will admit that the first one that comes to mind is The Sixth Sense. I totally didn't see that one coming. Nowadays I find so many films so predictable that I spot the supposed 'twist' a mile away. I find TV contains more mind-blowing twists (Scandal and House of Cards, I'm looking specifically at you) than movies.  But one that always stuck with me is Primal Fear with Edward Norton and Richard Gere. Man. Not to give it away, but Edward Norton is COLD. Oh and The Skeleton Key. I was roped into seeing that movie and came away freaked out beyond all measure. Still gives me goosebumps.

U is for Unapologetic Fan of...
Bring It On. 

Yeah, you heard me. Bring It On. I love every trashy, tacky, cheerleading second of it.

V is for Very Excited about Award season
Usually I love awards season. However this year they overlooked some excellent performances (the aforementioned Emma Thompson, as well as Allison Janney and Sam Rockwell's awesome supporting roles in The Way Way Back) and made some rather dubious choices (IMHO - Jonah Hill being the main one), so I'm not terribly excited for the Oscars this year. I will definitely watch it though, if only for the 'In Memorium' reel. Holy crap, but that's going to be one hell of a tear-jerker.

W is for Wish I had never watched
I'm probably in a total minority here, but - Blue Jasmine. Seriously. I fucking hated it. The script was horribly bleak and I wanted to slit my wrists at the end. Cate did a good job with what little she was given, but I felt absolutely no sympathy for her because there was no depth to the writing and I'm pretty sure it was just a repeat of her Blanche Dubois at STC. I don't think she deserves the Oscar. You know who I do think deserves the Oscar? EMMA THOMPSON. But she's not nominated, so I'd settle for it going to Amy Adams. I liked, but didn't love American Hustle, but I thought she was ace. Judi Dench was also a cracker in Philomena. I wouldn't mind it going to her either.

X is for XXX movie watched at a young age
I don't know that you could call it an 'XXX movie watched at a young age', but I do recall my mother getting slightly perturbed when she took me to see Zapped at the age of eleven. We were big Happy Days fans in our house and I guess she didn't realise that Scott Baio was trying to break away from his clean-cut Chachi image.

Y is for Your Latest Movie Related Obsession
Does Loki count? Or just Tom Hiddleston in general?  He's pretty much guaranteed to get me forking out the price of a movie ticket and popcorn these days.

Given I'm a Girl-On-A-Budget, you're far more likely to find me obsessing over TV shows at present. Let's talk Scandal. Or House of Cards. Or Parks and Rec. Or Trophy Wife. Or Mom. Or The Daily Show. Or Late Night with Seth Meyers. Or Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Or... shall I shut up now?


Z is for ZZZ Catcher
Woody Allen. I'm sorry, but I just don't like the man's movies. I've tried, god knows I've tried, but the way he writes women shits me. The way he tells stories that lack hope shits me (I'd like him to take a leaf from that Saving Mr Banks quote). Plus, there's that whole marrying-your-stepdaughter thing. It's just icky. He's just icky. I can't watch.

So there you go. Borrow/Steal/Create Your Own at will.  I'm heading to Bedfordshire (that's another oft-used quote, thanks Bridget Jones).

x

To Quote Ron Swanson...

Growing up, there was a rule in our house. It was strictly enforced at least twice a year, by both my parents.  

The rule was that we (Brutha and I) had to respond, in writing, to each and every person who gave/sent us presents (or cards, or cash) for our birthdays and at Christmas.

No exceptions and certainly no one-liners on a postcard. No. We had to write a proper letter, specifying what the gift was (or explaining what we planned to spend the cash on) and thanking them for their kindness.  You know, along the lines of:

Dear Auntie A & Uncle B,
Thank you very much for the book you sent me for my birthday last week*. I really like this author and I'm excited to read it. It was very nice of you and I really appreciate it.
I hope you are well. We went on an excursion to the zoo yesterday and one of the boys was bitten by a rabbit in the petting enclosure**.  He's ok though.
Thank you again for the book.
Lots of love,m_mxx

I remember Brutha used to protest long and loud about having to write these letters and much preferred to phone people and thank them (which eventually, he was allowed to do), but I loved it. Firstly, because I got to go to the store and pick out new stationery. (I love stationery. Put me in an Officeworks or a Paperchase or a Staples and I am in heaven.) And secondly, because I was so bone-crushingly shy around adults as a child (I couldn't even go into a store and ask a sales assistant where to find something until I was at least 16 - my mother always had to ask for me), that I found writing far less traumatising. 

Anyway, I'd get my new stationery and write my letters and feel a great sense of satisfaction that I'd said a proper thank you to these people. And it's something I still do, although now I'm more likely to fire off an email of thanks in place of a handwritten letter (although I am trying to get better at that - after all, it's nice to receive some old-fashioned mail).  But regardless, I still thank people when they've taken the trouble to send me something or give me a gift.

I just wish they'd return the courtesy.

I know that sounds a little Judith Martin of me and probably makes me sound ancient and fuddy-duddy, but I don't care. I certainly don't expect people to gush and rave because I've sent them something, but I do at least expect a "thank you" text or phone call. If I've gone to the effort, a little acknowledgement wouldn't go astray.

And yes. This (blatantly passive-aggressive) post is directed at my family and several of my friends (especially those with kids who score from me on their birthdays and at Christmas). Miss Manners is going to start getting snarky if you don't start getting polite.

* Books were what I mostly received as presents as a kid. I was a total bookworm - you could never go wrong with a book.

** This actually happened on a school excursion once. He was teasing the poor rabbit with some straw so I reckon it was karma. Even though I didn't know what karma was at the time...

Farewell Phil

About seven years ago, when I was still living in Sydney, I received a phone call at work from a lovely American woman, who said she needed to book some tickets for her boss.  He wanted to see the play that was on in the larger of our theatres, as he was potentially casting one of the actors for a play he would soon be directing.

Her boss's name? Philip Seymour Hoffman.

The usual ticketing practice at our theatre company, for directors wanting to see potential actors, was to give them comp tickets and sit them in house seats. There was a slight issue, in that this particular show had been massively popular and was close to sold out most nights and every celeb/faux celeb in town wanted to see it.  Of course, the only night PSH was able to see the show (he was on a tight schedule), all the house seats had been taken. For any other actor (I'm looking in particular at one ginger-haired, botoxed, birthday twin of mine, who I'll rant about later*), this would've been an issue. But not for PSH. He was happy to sit "wherever there's a free spot". 

First high-five to the big guy.

Then, his PA proceeded to absolutely floor me.

"Do you take Amex? Let me know when you're ready for me to give you the card number."

After picking my jaw up off the floor (you may think it odd, but it's an extremely rare thing for an actor of pretty much any calibre, let alone his, to volunteer to pay for their tickets), I explained that we could offer him comps - it was our usual practice for directors. Her response?

"Oh no. Phil has a policy of always paying for his tickets. He figures it would be rude not to - he likes to give back to theatre."

Second high-five to the big guy. Plus, 'Phil'? Awesome. Most PAs to celebs have to call them 'Mr He-Scares-The-Shit-Out-Of-Me' or 'Ms Her-Moods-Change-Faster-Than-Sound'. Nope. This guy clearly had a level-head and didn't think he was above his assistant.

So, I took the card details and offered to have the tickets sent over to where he was working so he didn't need to queue up at box office, although I suspected at that point, queuing at the box office was something he probably wasn't adverse to (again, looking at you ginger botox). As expected, that offer was politely declined and a few nights later, I looked along the line of people in the queue at box office (yes, I'd rostered myself on that night - wouldn't you?!) and there he was, quietly and patiently awaiting his turn.

I damn near ran out there and hugged him for exemplary behaviour from a famous actor. But I restrained myself (just) and waited until he got to the head of the queue. After wishing me "Good Evening", he followed up with "I have tickets booked under the name of Hoffman?". 

Third, fourth, fifth and endless high-fives for the big guy. 

Of course I know who you are, and I know you probably realise from the excited gleam in my eye that I know who you are, but you haven't presumed that and you've acted like any other ordinary theatre patron and given your name so I can find your tickets. 

(Trust me, with many actors not even a quarter as famous as PSH, their standard assumption is that you know who they are and they don't even have to mention their name, because, you know, they're too cool for that. Wankers.)

So I handed over his tickets, gave him the usual spiel (running time, lockout period, yes there's an interval, etc, etc) and he looked me in the eye, smiled, thanked me and wished me a great night.

(Oh, big guy. You have no idea how great that night was for me. To have an actor I've long admired behave in such a stellar manner, had me bouncing off the walls.)

Anyway, the following day, I received another phone call from his PA. Firstly, on behalf of PSH, she wanted to thank me for all my assistance. Secondly, he'd noticed a poster for one of the indie plays that was showing in our smaller theatre - it was a production he'd directed in New York and he thought it would be fun to see it done here. Again, happy to pay for his ticket (full price - wouldn't even take industry discount) and again, happy to pick it up at box office.

This time it was coincidental that I happened to be working the night he came to see the show (and you can bet if I wasn't, I would've been changing the roster again). Once again, he waited patiently in the queue, however this time when he got to the front, in addition to the usual "Good Evening", he said: "Hey! You're the lovely girl who assisted me last time! I've got tickets booked under Hoffman".

I'm pretty sure the grin I gave him nearly split my face in two.

What an absolute sweetheart.  He rocketed firmly up to number one on the list of award-winning actors I met during my years working in box office (and it's a pretty impressive list - Cate Blanchett, Geoffrey Rush, Toni Collette, Hugo Weaving, Rachel Griffiths, Keanu Reeves, Nicole Kidman, Michelle Williams - and that's just the ones that come immediately to mind) and has stayed there ever since.

* * *

This morning, I woke up to the news that Philip Seymour Hoffman had died. It's still not confirmed how he died, but a suspected heroin overdose is sadly, the likely cause. Clearly, the man battled many demons and it breaks my heart that he left the world in such an awful way.  I know a lot of people will write him off as just another "junkie celebrity" death, but I just can't. In the brief time I came into contact him, he was sweet, polite, generous and warm. And that is how I will choose to remember him.

Vale, Phil. You were a great among men.

(I do wish I'd given you that big hug though. I suspect now that you could've done with a few more hugs in your life.)

* You've probably figured out who the ginger, botoxed birthday twin of mine is, but just to give you the background on that particular story: she holds the dubious honour of being at the very top of my Comp Ticket Blacklist. Why? Well, for starters, by making her PA (and me) jump through hoops to get her house seats (must be on the aisle) to show after show after show, because it was VITAL she see it (she was always great friends with whomever happened to be the lead), so I'd have to shift people around to accommodate her demands.

That in itself, is not such an unforgivable thing. Annoying, certainly, but you know, it happens. Even the fact that she would never even offer to pay wasn't unheard of. No, what cemented her firmly at the top of my blacklist was that on all but one occasion, SHE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SHOW UP OR RING AHEAD AND CANCEL. That's just (excuse my language) fucking rude.

When she became a no-show for the fifth time, I spat the proverbial dummy. The next time she had her PA (a different one every time - I suspect she went through them on a regular basis) ring to arrange tickets, I demanded payment up front, which really sent the poor lackey into a tailspin. "Oh. Oh. Oh, Ms Ginger-Botox doesn't pay for tickets. She has them offered to her". Huh. Sorry sweetie, that line wasn't ever going to work on me again. So I stood strong, and she eventually rattled off a card number.  She still didn't turn up for the show though... but at least I wasn't lamenting the loss of two empty, unpaid seats in an otherwise sold-out show.