Freak 136

This is post #136.

And I'm a bit freaked.

It's 3am, I've just arrived home from Bestie Lulu's going-away/Cake's birthday/Ro's welcome home/Foo's stabbing Party and I'm a bit... ummmmm... wired? Drunk... ish. High... ish. Yeah. I guess wired is probably the most appropriate term.

I had three friends tonight tell me they read my blog. They don't blog themselves, so don't comment, but they read it.

This freaked me out. See, I blog and I expect that people like mg, bevis, kathie, dxxxx, locket, elaine, chai, etc, etc, will read it and comment. I never actually think about my friends who know me as a physical being* reading the drivel I write. And I never think about them actually taking it on board and calling me on it.

They did that tonight. And it freaked me.

Wow. For someone who's pretty out of it, I just managed to link a bunch of people. Snaps for me.

Anyhow... (she says as she grinds her teeth) Bestie Lulu's boy was giving me a long and involved story about his stabbing. The one Cotton was involved in.

That freaked me out.

I'm home alone... both the flatties are away. That always freaks me out. But recounting Foo's story about his stabbing makes it worse.

I'm freaked. Officially. Hands up who wants to come and play protector.





* Yes kathie, dxxxx and locket, I know you know me, but you know what I mean.

Grown Men on BMX Bikes (and other things that get on my wig)

Strolling home from the shops this morning, I was nearly run over by a man riding his bike on the footpath.

FOOTpath. Not BIKEpath, FOOTpath.

That's all I will say about people who ride their bikes on the footpath.

This guy had to have been at least mid-thirties. And he was riding a BMX. Similar to the one my brother rode when he was ten. This guy had to stand to pedal the thing - his legs were far too long for him to sit and pedal. And he rode it in that swinging style that BMX-ers use... you know, the style designed to whack anyone who gets too near.

Now this bike looked pretty speccy. New, shiny, good tyres... ie NOT SOME OLD BIKE HE'S HAD SINCE HE WAS TEN BECAUSE HE CAN'T AFFORD A NEW ONE! Why on earth would you buy/ride a bike which is clearly too small for you? Why not upgrade to a mountain bike? You know, a bike your size?

I hate writing in caps, but sometimes you just gotta vent.

Grown men on bikes that are clearly too small for them get on my wig.

Walking back down my street, I also noticed rather vast amounts of dog faeces scattered about the footpath. What is wrong with dog owners in my neighbourhood? Do they not take advantage of those free doggie-doo bags the council provides? Are they too lazy/old/fat/stupid to bend down and pick up their dog's sh*t?

Gets on my wig it does.

I've finally hit the 'D' section on the iPod upload. So far I have 1,147 songs loaded, which equates to 35.8 days of music and 3.92GB of space. I'm still loving myself sick with it.

But back to my griping.

I went to do a load of laundry this morning and my flatmate had used all the washing powder. Or should I say MY washing powder.

I don't mind people using my stuff, but I like it to be replaced. Preferably with the same brand. I'm a bit of a brand whore.

That really got on my wig.

I was at The Fitz* on Monday night for a playreading. On my lonesome, because all my so-called-friends had bailed on me. I had initially thought I would be fine to just wander on down from the train station and wander back up to the train station afterwards, but sometime on Monday afternoon (after the last person bailed) I suddenly thought it might be more convenient (not safer, just more convenient) if I borrowed Bestie P's car. Which I did.

Which is probably just as well because later that night I get a call from Bestie Lulu to say that her boy (who is also a wonderful friend) got stabbed outside The Fitz last week. If you want the gory details, go read Cotton's blog. He was with him at the time. That's the third person I know who's been mugged/stabbed/assaulted outside that place.

He's ok. Stitched and sore and freaked, but ok.

I'm thankful I had the idea of borrowing Bestie P's car on Monday night instead of wandering the streets alone. But I'm kicking myself that the only reason I did is because I was feeling lazy.

I need to think more about safety.

And more than anything, it gets on my wig that I have to do that.

Why can't everyone just be nice to everyone?





* The Old Fitzroy Hotel, Woolloomoolloo

This one's for Bob

Anzac Day.

A day where I should be going to the dawn service, paying my respects to the diggers (including Grandpa Bob, who fought in France in WWI), knocking back a few pints and playing a bit of two-up.

Should be.

Instead, I am curled up in front of the computer with a box of tissues, a gallon of cough syrup and a box of cold & flu tablets, struggling to get the rest of 'C' uploaded to my iPod. If I make it through 'D' I've told myself the day won't be totally wasted.

I hate being sick.

Especially when I could be in the pub playing two-up.

Cheers Grandpa Bob. Even though I never knew you, Daddy always made sure I knew what you sacrificed for us. And he left me your war diaries, so you can bet I'll make sure that my kids know about it too. I guess that's what the Anzac spirit is about.

I might just go and have that beer for you now. You don't mind that I'm still in my pj's do you?

I'm In Love

It's true.

Firstly, I'm in love with my iPod. So far I've only loaded about 600 songs (that's A & B of my CD collection), but I'm hooked. I don't know how I ever lived without it.

Secondly, I'm in love with my boys. A messy, yet glorious 32 pt win over Carlton last night. I haven't been this excited about a season since I can't remember when. We're third on the ladder. THIRD!!

For the nay-sayers amongst you, yes, I am well aware we probably won't still be there by the end of the weekend, but for right now, let me bask in the glory.

Thirdly, there is no thirdly. Those are my only two loves today.

But I don't think life can get much better.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Just wondering.

Anyone up for a road trip? I've got itchy feet.

And I've heard that you can go back to find some peace of mind in San Jose.

Its All About The Hair

Today's post goes out to Dizzy.



I don't care if it was against Bangladesh. Its a double century from a great South Australian bowler who has never scored higher than 70 in his entire first class career.

He now has a higher Test score than Mark and Steve Waugh, David Boon, Ian Chappell and Damien Martyn.

Isn't it amazing what a good haircut can do.

I'm getting my hair cut in the morning... what will the day have in store for me?

#1 Single

Don't drop dead of shock people... I know I posted only yesterday but I've come back from my holiday full of things to say, so I'm posting again today.

I know that will make Cake extremely happy.

I'm currently uploading all my CDs to iTunes. Its taking a while. This is the second day and I'm still doing the 'B' section. The Love Songs of Burt Bacharach is almost finished and the Barenaked Ladies are waiting to go in. Its a looooong process.

Luckily, I'm good at multi-skilling. Whilst uploading CD's I'm writing this (derrrr) and having a chat on messenger with my old flatmate Kate, who lives in Edinburgh. I miss her so much. But hopefully she'll be out here later in the year for a visit so I we can party like the old days (read: this time last year).

You may be questioning when I'm going to get to the point of the title of today's blog. Perhaps you're questioning if there is a point to it. Or perhaps you have already guessed because you have Foxtel.

Answers on a postcard please.

I was over at Bestie P's this afternoon borrowing some suits for tomorrow's corporate video shoot. I don't own suits anymore. I had a ritual burning of my suits when I left the corporate world. Stupid me didn't think I'd end up getting cast as a corporate and therefore might need them again one day.

Duh.

Bestie P has been in Melbourne for a week and then I've been away over Easter, so I haven't seen her or Miss Piper for at least ten days. Miss Piper has. Grown. A lot. And is getting very chatty. So we were all catching up and then while Bestie P was getting a selection of suits for me, Piper and I had some quality time flicking around Foxtel. Where we discovered:


THIS


Oh. My. Goodness. Me.

Lisa Loeb. What the?

Its fascinating. Fascinating.

In case you've missed it, this is the premise of the show:

Lisa Loeb is single and most definitely fabulous. Now the thirtysomething singer is ready to share her success with someone special. Will this real-life Carrie Bradshaw be able to find love (and sex) in the city?

You go girl.

I was hooked. As a thirtysomething single gal myself, I thought, hey! Maybe I can get a few pointers. Maybe I can find out how to stop meeting inappropriate men and finally find someone who will actually treat me as more than a 2am booty call.

As for Miss Piper, I told her she's never too young to learn. She was hooked too. She even stopped gnawing on my arm for a minute to check it out.

So basically, single gal Lisa is looking for a man so she can settle down, have babies and get her mom off her back. I hear ya sister.

This is what Lisa is looking for:

Seek intelligent city guy (NYC or LA) between 30-45. Must be smart, funny, sensitive (not wimpy), adventurous and family oriented. Preferably Jewish. No diets, no fake hair. Healthy and active a plus. Must love cats.

Cool. She's started by putting it out there. Maybe that's what I should do.

Seek intelligent city guy (Sydney preferred, Melbourne acceptable) between 30-40 (I'm younger than her). Must be smart, funny, sensitive (not wimpy), adventurous and arts oriented. Preferably hot. (I'm not fussed about the Jewish thing seeing as I'm not Jewish, nor am I in favour of organised religion). No diets, no fake hair. Healthy and active a plus. Must hate cats.

Next.

After a synopsis of the dates Lisa's been on, very few of which seem to have been successful, she decides to impart her dating tips upon us.

Right. Let's see where I'm going wrong.

Dating Tips: Lisa's Time-Honored Pointers for Surviving a First Date

Dine and Dish: Don't "talk out" the entire evening during the pre-date phone conversation.

Hmmm. Phone conversations. I'm more of a text/email kinda gal, so I think I've got that one covered. Check.

Proper Attire Required: Wear comfortable shoes. The restaurant could be miles from the parking lot, and sore feet can make a painful date worse!

I mostly wear flip flops in summer and boots or my pretty pink converse in winter. I learned early not to wear heels anywhere that required more than one block's walk. Check.

Early Bird Special: Arrive ahead of schedule. Who knows? The chatty bartender at the restaurant could be your next husband.

Oooh. I'm notoriously late. To the point where my friends have already ordered dessert by the time I walk in the door. There's definitely room for improvement there, especially if I have the chance of marrying the bartender. Hey, if its good enough for Miranda its good enough for me.

Check, Please! Even if you think you deserve the chocolate molten cake for sitting through dinner, don't order dessert if the conversation is getting strained.

She means cheque. I think. I'm more cheese platter than chocolate cake, but I get her point. However its been ages since a man took me out to dinner so I'll have to note that one down just in case I actually get asked out to dinner and make it to dessert.

Second Helpings: Got even a slight quiver in the knees? Investigate it further with a second date.

Now this is where I fall down. Its hard enough getting the first date, let alone surviving it and obtaining a second date.

Sheesh.

Lisa has it easy... (a) the producers probably have a whole swag of men lined up to date her; and (b) she lives in the States, more specifically NYC, where finding men* to date is far easier than here in Sydney.

Incidentally, what qualifies as a "date" in Australia anyway? Is it always "dinner and a movie"? The last three dates I went on were all "dinner and a movie" and I didn't get a second date out of any of them. Where's the creativity? I went on a few dates when I lived in the States and only one of them ever involved "dinner and a movie". The others involved coastal drives in a convertible, snorkelling, ice skating, art galleries, sporting events and even a frat party (hey, I was 23). About two-thirds of them led on to second and even third dates, so possibly I either need to move back to the States or change my expectations of what a date entails. Not sure.

But I digress.

I never saw the end of the episode because Miss Piper decided to have a hissy fit. I'm sure it was because Lisa accepted a second date with the dodgy guy who walked out on their first date because he had an "important call" and then thought just by turning up with a huge bunch of roses she'd go out with him again. Even at 3 months old, Piper seems to have a well developed "bullshit" gene.

But I'll be watching that show again. Its a corker.

Now I've just got to get me a date** so I can put her tips to the test.

Stay tuned for more people.











* By "men", I mean those of the male species who are straight, single, self-sufficient and without a criminal record involving rape, murder or armed robbery.

** Date. You know, going out. Conversation. Maybe even trapeze lessons or a visit to the art gallery. It doesn't have to cost money. It doesn't have to be fancy. It just has to not be a 2am booty call after a drunken night at the pub. I deserve better.

Back Again

I'm back.

Kiama was great... all boxes were ticked.

Weather - great

Company - great

Food - great*

Wine - great

Entertainment - great**

Accommodation - great

Sleep - great***



In fact the only downside (if you could call it that) was that regional television in NSW appears to suffer from a serious lack of AFL coverage, therefore I couldn't watch my boys open a can of whoop-ass over the Cats (sorry mg).

Well done boys. We're sitting fifth on the ladder. I can't remember when we last held that spot.****

You've inspired me.

Expect more interesting posts from tomorrow onwards.

x



* Particularly Sunday night's lamb roast, during which I ate almost an entire bowl of candied yams.

** The lovely Cake (yes you Vetty!) loaned me the entire boxed set (Series 1-6) of Sex & The City. I was in single girl heaven.

*** I not only had great sleep every night, but I also got to indulge in day sleeps/disco naps/nana naps (whatever you like to call them) which was a real treat for me. I haven't had much sleep lately (for a variety of reasons, not all of the them fun, although Thursday was) so it was a major to-do on my list.

**** I suspect it was sometime back in the late 80s or early 90s.

So.

So.

I'm at work. Its the first night shift I've worked in a couple of months, thanks to a "dark" period of no shows, followed by me doing my show.

I'm counting the minutes till we get the peeps into the theatre so I can head over to the pub and join in the farewell drinks for the lovely P - my wonderful literary colleague. I'll miss her. And I'm not fond of her replacement. I'm sure he won't be half as much fun.

It feels a bit odd being here at night but I have to say I do like starting work at 1pm. Means I have time to do stuff in the mornings.

This morning for instance, I managed to fit in a beautician's appointment, grocery shopping for our weekend away, the purchase of some new underwear and a cute little vest as well as a casting for a corporate video (which I just found out I got!). And then I came to work feeling like I'd accomplished stuff.

I like that.

I bought an iPod on Monday. A pretty black 30GB video iPod. Thanks to Chai for recommending buying directly from the Apple website. Same price as Myer and Harvey Norman and much less stress.

I'm very excited to finally be joining the iPod generation.

Besides getting the casting I went for today, I found out the Red Cross commercial I shot the other week has been optioned (I have no idea what that means but apparently I get double the initial fee) which is exciting too.

And tomorrow morning I head off to Kiama for 4 days R&R with the girls.

Excitement all round.

Have a great weekend all... eat, drink and may the Easter Bunny bring forth much chocolate. And may my boys triumph over Geelong on Saturday. I'd give up a million Easter eggs for that.

xo

Banal...

Trivial things that have annoyed me in the last few days:

1. WBJ

Eastern-suburbs wank-speak for Westfield Bondi Junction. WBJ annoyed me on a couple of levels. Firstly, they have possibly the worst parking lot I have ever parked in. Having lived in a number of different countries and experienced a number of different parking lots, I don't make that claim lightly. Secondly, their stores are crap. I went to get an iPod. I had a Myer voucher and a whole lotta cash... I was excited that I was finally going to get myself an iPod.

Myer was out of stock.

So I went to Harvey Norman. I had enough cash, I figured I'd use the Myer voucher for something else. Accessories maybe.

Harvey Norman was out of stock.

Nowhere else in WBJ stocked iPods.

Grrrrrrr.

So I left.

Or should I say tried to leave. WBJ has one of those stupid parking lots where you have to pay for your ticket beforehand. However they don't tell you this until you're pretty much at the boom gate.

So I had to zip around, try and find another park, then trek across to the machines. The sign on the machine said that anything under 2 hours was free. I'd only been there 30 minutes.

Jeez Louise.

I burst into tears and sniffled all the way home.

2. Who Magazine

One of my flatties buys Who each week... she left Friday's edition out so I could read it last night which was very nice of her.

However.

In the "what to watch on TV this week" section they had a blurb about tomorrow night's episode of The Biggest Loser. They showed a photo of some of the "eliminated" contestants and said one of them would get a second chance.

Trouble was, one of the "eliminated" contestants has yet to be eliminated. This contestant was below the yellow line on Friday night, but we won't find out until tonight which contestant goes.

Unless, like me, you've seen the latest Who magazine. Thanks a lot for ruining it guys.


3. My boys

They got whipped. Bugger. Bugger, bugger, bugger.


4. Non-responsiveness

Some of my friends have been along to see my show. Most of them have at least stuck around to say hello afterwards (it takes me about five minutes to get changed and head upstairs to the bar) but a couple of them have just disappeared without a word. Rude.

Some of them have not even bothered turning up at all even when they're booked in.

And haven't even bothered calling or texting to cancel so we can resell the tickets.

Rude.

I'm also annoyed by people who don't return messages (phone, text or otherwise) in general. It only takes a second.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Anyway, that's enough whinging. I'm going home to watch TBL, even though I know who's getting eliminated.


x

That's a wrap

Last show today. I'll be relieved when its over... this has been a strange journey.

Looking forward to some rest.

And I'm trying not to think about the fact I have nothing in the pipeline (apart from one day's playreading work sometime in June).

On a completely different topic, I am very annoyed that I can't watch my boys in action this afternoon. I had planned a lovely day of dropping the mater at the airport, before heading off to watch the game before heading off for the final performance of the play.

Bloody broadcasters.

I'm OK, You're OK

It's all OK.

Sorry for the lack of blogging but I've been working by day, playing by night and the mater has just arrived in town for the rest of the week so I've had to sneak into work early to be able to write this!!

Play is going pretty well... I got a (sort of) apology from the volatile actor (as much as you could expect from a meglomaniac like him) and the shows have been much better since. I'm saving nerd's wonderful suggestion of kicking him in the balls for closing night. Just in case he decides to break the table over my head this time.

We've sold out the remainder of the season which is awesome... money made on a co-op is such a rare thing. I should make enough money for a digital camera AND an iPod!

People are still confused as all hell by the play, but its Sam Shepard. Its ok. I'm sure that's his goal.

I'm looking forward to Easter.

The girls are off to Kiama for some R&R... swimming, running, yoga, trivial pursuit, healthy eating... and no boys allowed.

Not even Monday's. As hot as it was.

I'm useless at cryptic crosswords.

And sudoku.

And I'm clearly in need of some sleep.

xox