Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen...

Been pouring a few cups of ambition in the last couple of days, although I've been working more than 9-5.

Did an interactive web video shoot for some big corporate on Friday morning, followed by eight long hours at the theatre selling tickets. Then trudged home to learn lines for today's masterclass with this man, which actually did go from 9-5 (and was bloody brilliant), before heading back to the theatre to sell even more tickets this evening.

And cos my brain was fried, I screwed up something on the system and had to spend forty minutes fixing it up.

Then I came home and had to get all techy with our new DVD (old one had a spaz attack) so I could actually chill in front of the teev. Hooking that up was like a whole other day's work, let me tell you.

I'm going off to cook some bacon to go with my fried brain.

x

Punky Power

Time is short. My bed is calling. Loudly.

But because it was requested, I am posting a picture of the two items I won on eBay today. Yes Locket. Two of them. I am very excited. You are possibly the only person (besides Flatmate A) who will be as excited as me.

Instructions on how you can be even more excited Locket, will appear at the bottom of the post.

Item 1:

Early Punky. Back when she had her chubby little Punky cheeks. This is the first one I stumbled across when looking through the vintage clothing section and I just had to bid on it immediately. It will go perfectly with my pink cons. I may even have to go all out and put my hair in pigtails when wearing it.

Later the same night (funny how its always a good idea to bid for items on eBay at night rather than in the cold light of day), I discovered the next one. Of course, I liked this picture better, so I had to make another bid.

Item 2:

This one is apparently on a white baby doll t-shirt. It may require some alteration a la my Goonies, Mork & Mindy and Free Annyong (Arrested Development) t-shirts* but we'll wait and see when it arrives all the way from Las Vegas.

If you happen to be attending Homebake this year and see a girl in either one of these t-shirts, then its probably me. If you don't find the thought of a grown up wearing a Punky Brewster t-shirt at all disturbing then feel free to make yourself known to me. Chances are we'll get along great.

Alternatively, you may see someone wearing the pink version of this t-shirt which was also purchased the other night (front & back images shown). If you know what this is, then I definitely want you to say hi:

Everbody wants something.

Night!
xo

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* By alterations, I mean I cut the neck bit off (because I hate having t-shirts high around my neck) in a hacked off/roughed up kinda way. Sometimes I do a bit of scissoring with the sleeves too, depending on how long they are.

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This last bit is for Locket:
Go to eBay and type in "Vintage Punky" in the Women's Clothing section. Its that easy. There are multiple versions of the pink one available. You may need to go to the US eBay site to find the other one... I can't quite remember how I got there as a few glasses of vino had been consumed in the hours prior to purchasing.

Dreaming

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Its not often that I can remember my dreams but this one was so vivid that 3 hours later it is still fresh in my head and its worrying me. I don't know if its supposed to mean anything or be symbolic of something, but I feel like its demanding to be written down.

In the dream I was carrying my bike up the stairs at work. I went into one of the dressing rooms and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and the voice on the other end of the line identified themselves as Bill B_____. Bill and I used to work in the same department in London, although we weren't all that close. He was, however, my saviour in a nightclub one night after work when my drink was spiked and I blacked out at a table. Bill carried me out of the club, got a cab for my friend and I and saw us safely home. He was a top bloke. And cute as a button.

Anyway, back to the dream. Bill said he'd been trying to track me down for a few years now and he was coming out to Australia for some meeting and wanted to catch up with me. Said he was bringing a couple of work colleagues along with him. The line was a bit crackly, so I missed some of what he was saying and we didn't have a chance to make any firm plans to meet up, before the line cut out.

That was the end of the dream.

Not a terribly unusual dream you might say and had it been anyone else I worked with in London I wouldn't have been so spooked about it. But this is the weird thing:

Bill died of cancer a couple of years ago.

Anyone know anything about dream interpretation?

The Yummiest Brownies Recipe

As requested by the lovely Locket, I am going to hand on the recipe for my famous brownies. Its a slightly modified version of the recipe from a book called "Cooking Is A Game You Can Eat" by Fay Maschler, which I was given when I was 8. It took me a few years to perfect the recipe, but is the best one I've ever found.

First things first... set your oven to 170C (or 350F).

Now the original recipe calls for a small cake tin, but the original recipe wouldn't feed a Barbie doll, so I've been making quadruple the original amount for years and it fits nicely in a shallow, rectangular roasting pan. Just remember to grease it and line it with baking paper and it will come out clean as a whistle.

Ingredients:
200gms butter (don't use margarine - it makes it taste awful)
200gms dark cooking chocolate (you can use regular, but dark is tastier)
400gms castor sugar
4 eggs (medium sized ones - about 650gms)
200gms plain flour
2tsp vanilla essence
Pinch of salt

Method:
Over a very low heat melt the butter and chocolate in a large saucepan.

Remove from the stove, stir well with a wooden spoon, then stir in the sugar. Add the eggs and the vanilla essence. Beat well. Quickly stir in the flour and salt.

Spread the mixture in the cake tin and cook for 25-30 mins. Remove from the oven and leave it to cool. Don't worry if it sinks - that's how its supposed to go. After about 10 minutes of cooling it in the tin, tip it out on to a cooling rack and remove the baking paper. After another 10 minutes cut it up into squares.

Best served warm with a big glass of milk.

Enjoy!

xo

20 Things You Thought You'd Never Care To Know About The Most Magical_M

1. I am exceptionally clumsy. I currently have nine bruises on various parts of my body and I'm not sure how I got at least five of them.
   
   
2. My sister isn't actually a blood relation. She's the daughter of my mum's best friend - we grew up together like sisters and have always referred to ourselves as siblings. However we look so much alike that people think we actually are related.
   
   
3. When I was two I had epiglottitis and nearly died because my mother's car broke down on the way from our house to the hospital. I spent two months in an oxygen tent and all I remember is that I scored two new Fuzzy Felts and a Barbie doll.
   
   
4. The shrink that my parents made me see from the age of 12 through to 16 attributed the trauma of that experience as being the main cause of my teenage agoraphobia.
   
   
5. I hate g-strings. Try as I might I can not get comfortable wearing them.
   
   
6. Both my big toenails turned black last year because my ballet shoes were half a size too small. When I finally went to the podiatrist she removed three-quarters of both nails. I now have half a toenail on each toe but am too scared to go near a podiatrist ever again.
   
   
7. When I was six I wanted to be Lotta from Mr Galliano's Circus.
   
   
8. My dad died of lung cancer when I was 22, five weeks after he was first diagnosed and one week before he and my mum were due to go on their first ever overseas holiday. Part of my reason for going overseas was to visit all the places he'd always wanted to visit.
   
   
9. I have a tattoo of a dolphin on my left breast. I got the tattoo on New Year's Day 1996 in Rockville, Maryland because it was the only tattoo parlour in the Virginia/DC area which was open.
   
   I actually wanted an Egyptian eye tattooed on my ankle, but I was so trashed that I was incapable of explanation, so just pointed to a picture of a dolphin and slurred "thatonethere'lldothanks".
   
   
10. When I was 14 I begged my parents to send me to a boarding school in the US that was advertised in the back of Seventeen magazine. I wanted to learn to ride horses and become captain of the cheerleading team. Basically I wanted my life to replicate that of a Sweet Dreams novel.
    
    
11. Partly because of #3, I was never able to put my face underwater as a kid. I finally discovered the joys of underwater handstands when I was 12 and Auntie Irene bought me a nose clip like the synchronised swimmers wear.
    
    
12. I can tune a guitar pitch perfect by ear, but I can't play a chord for s**t. I can pick out a tune on the piano by ear but playing a piece from sheet music takes me hours. However once I know it I can play it from memory forever.
    
    
13. I make a bloody great cup of tea.
    
    
14. When I travelled around Africa I developed malaria, giardia and amoebic dysentery - ALL AT ONCE. My friends took me to the main hospital in Zanzibar, but when they saw a doctor using the same needle on five different people they were so horrifed that they dragged me around until we discovered Dr Mario - an eccentric Italian doctor with his own private hospital who loaded me up with more free prescription medication than was possibly legal.
    
    Two weeks later I was white water rafting and bungy jumping from a bridge 111m above the Zambezi River.
    
    
15. I love trivia. If entertainment related trivia was a topic in high school I would have scored straight A's.
    
    
16. When I first left to go overseas, my friend Teresa (jokingly) asked me to sleep with a Swedish guy because she'd heard they were hot and since she was soon to be married, she'd probably never find out for herself. On my last night in Malmo I shamelessly shagged the next-door neighbour of the friends I was staying with, purely to fulfill Teresa's request.
    
    The Swedish boy in question was the brother of the lead singer of a well-known Swedish pop group and didn't speak a word of English.
    
    
17. I really hate my nose and my profile. As soon as I can afford it, I will be getting a nose job.
    
    
18. I sat next to the members of Massive Attack on a flight from London to Copenhagen in 1996 without knowing who the hell they were. We shared an entire packet of Silk Cuts (BA flights back then were still split into smoking and non-smoking sections) and a few bottles of chardy, yet it wasn't until we walked out into the throng of screaming fans at Copenhagen airport that I discovered they weren't just "with a band".
    
    
19. I have never cheated on a boyfriend. And could never.
    
    My first long-term boyfriend cheated on me with six different women during the four years we were together, but I never found that out until a year after we broke up. He's now married to the last woman he cheated on me with but apparently slept with two different women on his buck's night.
    
    Its been over ten years and during that time I have only had one other long-term relationship. My love life now mostly consists of relationships lasting under 3 months.
    
    
20. I am able to sing pretty much any 80's TV theme. Even themes to the shows I didn't watch. I can even sing you both parts of the theme for "Joanie Loves Chachi". Scary, huh?

Today's post was brought to you by the lovely letter L. I'm going to pass the spirit stick along to A Complete Basket Case and the woman who has been Making Cancer Sexy Since February 2005. I'm pretty sure Von Krankipantzen will take up the challenge, but I'm not sure about The RocKat. However you know what happens when you drop the spirit stick RK, so I expect to see some blogging action from you pronto!!

I still have a scar

But its on my chest, not my face.

And I don't have a moustache like Inigo.

But the scar on my chest still looks pretty evil, despite the variety of oils and lotions I rub into it ten times a day.

Grrrrrr.

Not tonight dear...

I'm beat. I just worked 12 hours straight dealing with a bunch of divs* who have no idea about anything. So I'm too tired to blog properly and instead I'm going to veg in front of the TV and watch The Hoff on Rove.

But one brief thing I had to post about that has been bugging me for about a week...

Has anyone else heard that new cover of the classic Gunners song "Sweet Child O' Mine"? I heard it about five times today.

Its f***ing hideous. It sounds like Doris Day. Actually, that's an insult to Doris.

And its a total insult to Guns'n'Roses.

That's all.

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*Idiots, morons, tools, wankers - whatever your choice of insult...

Yeah!!

Yeah baby.

Finally the Australian public got a clue and voted out this idiot:


Truly, James. I'm truly, truly amazed you lasted as long as you did.


Then the Blue Team finally voted off the Queen of the Bee-atches:

You can take the girl outta the precinct...

However snaps to Suzanne for losing 70lbs. For a conniving bee-atch she's looking pretty hot in the after photos.

But this. THIS made my night. This was flashed up on the screen at the end of the show...

Yes folks, they're doing an Australian version of the show.

"So what?" I hear you mutter.

So... they're bringing out Trainer Bob and Jillian to work on the show!!! TRAINER BOB!!! Trainer Bob will be in the same city as me for 3 whole months!!!!

I wonder if he needs a tour guide/assistant/personal trainee/slave. It doesn't say on the website.

But I bet he'll be hanging out at Bondi...

Mmmmmm. Bob.

Excuse me while I go indulge in my daydream of stalking meeting Trainer Bob.

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Howzat!

Had a great day today at the SCG with nine mates watching the third day of the "SuperTest" (Australia vs World XI for those of you not au fait with your cricket).

Bloody cold though and bad light eventually stopped play but there were some great highlights. Lucky for you I won't bore you with them here.

One thing I do have to say though is that it was probably the most gourmet I have ever been at the cricket. The chief organiser decided we'd "self-cater" (her words) and we were each assigned a food group. Mine was fruit. Easy. Others brought chips, dips, cheese, crackers, etc etc. But Kate... Kate is a chef. At Rockpool.

As Warney stepped up for his first over of the day, we were munching frittata which had been made the previous day by Neil Perry himself.

Ready steady that Warney.

I'm waiting at the railway square for the bus home when who should approach me but this woman. Still peddling the same story. She initially left out the location of where the dance competition was, but when I asked her she came up with North Dakota again. We had quite a good chat actually. Her name's Chris. I like this woman. Oh, she had a new receipt book too. Brand new. So brand new that it was obvious she hadn't written any receipts out yet.

Unfortunately she happened to get me after I'd spent the ten dollars which was supposed to last me till payday on beer at the cricket.

All I had left in my purse was 95 cents. So I gave her that. Then she was worried that I wouldn't be able to get the bus home, bless her... luckily I had a travelten. What a top lady.

I came home to discover Flatmate 2's boyfriend (aka FO*) had decided to go the Chopper look and had grown (in 3 days!) a handlebar moustache.

Scary.

Then Flatmate 1's parents popped over with some stuff and met FO for the first time. Poor guy was crushed that he'd chosen that weekend to experiment with dodgy facial hair.

Very funny.

Then Lulu came over and we watched Australian Idol. It was 80s night. They all sucked, apart from Lee. That guy rocks. A punk version of Eye of the Tiger. Tops.

The others should be shot for choosing shit like Whitney Houston and Lionel Richie. If you're going to go the power ballad go a real power ballad.

And for god's sake have the guts to wear some 80's clothes. If any of those girls had had the guts to dress like Madonna or Cyndi Lauper I would have voted for them.

But Lee got my vote this week. He looked like a New Romantic crossed with a Punk. Actually he looked a bit like Adam Ant without the military jacket and white stripe across the face.

Rock on Lee.

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* Federal Officer. Cos he is one. You wouldn't believe it if you met him but he is.

Top 5 Films - Take 1: The John Cusack Collection

For your weekend enjoyment (and perhaps to aide in your DVD selections?) I humbly present the first in a series of Magical M's Top 5 Films.

*insert fanfare*

Given I watched one of these today, I thought I would start this series with an homage to one of the greatest teen actors to make the transition to adult actor.

Now these five films are in no particular order. I did try to rank them, but I kept swapping them around and changing my mind and I started to wig out.

So here we are. The John Cusack Collection.

First up we have One Crazy Summer.

Also starring Demi Moore (who sings!), Joel Murray (brother of Bill), Bobcat Goldthwait (master of the shoutspeak), Curtis Armstrong (mid-Moonlighting) and Jeremy Piven (who is an Evanston Illinois alumni of the Cusack's and has been in about ten films with JC over the years).

Written and directed by Savage Steve Holland. I've mentioned him before. Very clever guy.

Basic plotline revolves around our hero Hoops McCann spending the summer on Nantucket with an odd assortment of friends, who decide to take on the cute and fuzzy bunnies who are trying to destroy their happiness. Naturally they win.

Secondly, we have another Savage Steve Holland film... Better Off Dead.

John plays Lane Myer, who is obsessed with his girlfriend of six months Beth, to the point where she is literally all he ever thinks about. Of course true to form, she dumps him for the ski team champ, Roy, and he becomes obsessed with ending it all. Then along comes Monique, the funky French foreign exchange student.

You do the math as to what happens.

Curtis Armstrong also pops up in this one playing Lane's nutty best friend who wears a top hat and is obsessed with snorting stuff. His assessment of the street value of pure snow is a classic.

Now this next film may be slightly controversial... Sixteen Candles.


Technically this is not a "John Cusack film". But he (and sister Joan - a true comic genius) steal the show with their portrayals of two of the nerdiest characters.

Want proof?

He's the one on the left. The other one really is a geek.

John made his character Bryce (one of Farmer Ted's geek buddies) into one of the nerds you'd probably actually date. Well I would have.

Joan's nameless neck-braced character had me in stiches with her drinking attempts, both at the water fountain and at Jake's party. You can't see it in that picture, but the embroidered woman on her sweater has a lacy skirt which contributes to a lot of the sight gags.

Talented family.

Now we have True Colours. Or Colors if you're American and can't spell correctly.


John Cusack teams up with the ultimate 80s teen slimebag - James Spader. He's another post in himself. But for once, John's character is the slimier of the two. Nice deviation from the "All American Nice Guy" rep he was getting.

Oh and this film also stars Mandy Patinkin. What a great actor. He'll pop up again in a Top 5. Trust me.

Finally, we have Grosse Point Blank.


Another John/Joan/Jeremy collaboration. With Minnie Driver (who - dare I say it - I actually like) and Dan Ackroyd to boot.

Yes. I like Minnie. I do.

She's gone a little kooky in the last few years, but if you'd dated Matt Damon and Josh Brolin you'd be a little kooked out too. She just needs to develop better taste in men.

Anyway this is another great film. With some cool music. I'll admit that the ending was a little naff, but you have to agree that Joan's destruction of the office makes it worth sitting through.

So there you go.

And there I go. To bed.

Night all!

x

Pop Quiz!

I love a quiz.

I stumbled across this one, courtesy of Susanne's blog. It all started with this:

What Retro Girl Are You?

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1950s Pinup

Hmm. Interesting. I wouldn't necessarily have picked that one and I doubt anyone who knows me would have either.

But it was quite flattering all the same.

I decided to make my way down the list of quizzes on the left hand side of the page.

The next one was:

Are You Uptown or Downtown?

You Are Downtown

You're a funky spirit that requires freedom to live. Your city girl persona needs adventure, diversity, and great pizza.

Yes I am, yes I do. Yes it does, spot on, however not entirely sure about the last one. I like pizza but I wouldn't die if I had to live without it.

But it was closer to me than the 1950's pinup, so I was encouraged.

Third one was this little gem:

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Nicole Richie

The perfect blend of uptown and downtown.

Yeah. Cos I'm a vapid, anorexic bimbo who spends most of my time spending my adoptive father's hard earned cash and having bitch fights with Paris and Lindsay.

I was starting to doubt the validity of this quiz site.

Until it got good again with this one:

What Style of Jeans Are You?

You Are Low Rise Jeans

You are both sexy and casual - the type of girl who looks hot without really trying. You tend to spark imagination, only showing a peek of your skin.

Better.

But then the sinking feeling I got with the Nicole Ritchie one came rushing back with this one:

What's Your Reputation?

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about. You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

Sure. Uh-huh. Me. Sweet.

I think there's a bunch of people out there in the world who would vehemently disagree with you on that one. Sassy - yes. Cynical - absolutely. Smart mouthed - my middle name. But not sweet. Ewwwwwwww.

I was getting a bit jack of all this hit and miss. Was there a quiz amongst the bunch which would really capture the essence of me?

I was doubtful.

Then I stumbled across the final two. Gold. Pure, solid, shining gold.

Firstly:

What John Cusack movie are you?

Your Life is Like

Better Off Dead...

Excellent.

This is my favourite John Cusack movie of all time. Well, tied with One Crazy Summer. I'm suspecting a lot of you have never heard of either of them, let alone seen them.

Remedy that immediately. They are classics. Both written and directed by Savage Steve Holland. Yes, that is his name. Talented man.

Unfortunately, they're both incredibly difficult to find in the video store. I own a copy of One Crazy Summer on VHS though. Better Off Dead is one of those movies which has been on my Christmas DVD list for years but has yet to be found.

I'm somewhat concerned, albiet secretly stoked, that my life is like Better Off Dead though. There aren't any sadistic paperboys in my neighbourhood that I know of and my mum can cook. She does try and make us all wear ridiculous reindeer ears at Christmas time though...

However the final quiz is the one that really sold it for me. I laughed for about a minute when I saw it, especially as I didn't choose the obvious question which would have linked me to it.

This is me. This is true. My mum will vouch for the number of posters of this person on my bedroom walls, back before any of my friends even knew who he was.

Can you guess?

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Jason Bateman

Brilliant.

I loved him then, I love him now. As you may have noticed in a past post.

And doesn't he look cute in that fair isle sweater...

Yep. I love a quiz.

Lollipops

This is a re-enactment of a phone call I had with an Old Friend a few days ago:

OF: Let's 'catch up' . How about Wednesday - shall we meet at Fox Studios? That's pretty central for both of us.

MM: Sure - suits me. The Farmer's Market will be on. I can sample lots of yummy food.

OF: Well... there's a great cafe called Lollipops which is kid-friendly - we can have a coffee and there's an area where SOOF* can play.

MM: Whatever. As long as I get to eat cheese.

So we meet at Fox Studios. And have a quick stroll around the Farmer's Markets tasting all the yummy things we have no intention of buying because they're so hideously overpriced. And OF gets excited because Wil Anderson is standing next to her taste testing lime flavoured olive oil. And I get excited because one of the stalls is selling cinnamon & raisin bagels, which are extremely difficult to find in Sydney.

Then we go to Lollipops.

Well.

Well.

*tries to think of a polite way to describe Lollipops*

*can't, so decides to go with initial reaction upon entering Lollipops*

F**K ME!! WHAT THE F**KING F**K IS THIS PLACE? WHAT A F**KING HIDEOUS, GOD-AWFUL, ZOO OF AN EXCUSE FOR A CAFE!

Lollipops is not a cafe. It is a long way from a cafe. It is basically an oversized McDonalds playground with a bad coffee machine.

There were hundreds of under-5's. Hundreds. And almost as bad, were their hideous mothers, who smiled benignly whilst their 2 year olds tried to tip their milkshakes over my feet.

No, benignly smiling mother. Your child is not cute. Your child is the devil. If you don't remove him/her from my personal space I will pick him/her up and throw him/her into the bouncy castle, milkshake and all.

SOOF threw a temper tantrum because he wanted a yellow wrist band. Apparently yellow wrist bands are not for his age group. His age group are only allowed blue wrist bands. But SOOF was determined. He didn't stop crying for a yellow wrist band for at least 40 minutes. The kid has stamina.

Then he discovered the bubble machine and all was well.

Under the bubble machine I discovered the "manouvere the claw thing to pick up a prize" machine and decided that I wanted the funky crayons for SOAF's^ toy box at my house. The machine was kinda neat, in that it let you keep trying until you grabbed something.

But although I spent half an hour trying, there was no way I could get the funky crayons. I got sidewalk chalk, a cap gun and a really ugly wallet, but just couldn't get the funky crayons.

I got bored and handed the controls over to SOOF. He wanted some truck thing. But he got a basketball hoop. For a kid with screaming stamina, he's easily pleased.

The music at Lollipops did my head in too. One minute they were playing The Beatles, the next they were playing the Inspector Gadget theme. Then they played David Bowie. Then they played The Wiggles.

Eventually, the odd combination of music, coupled with the screams and crying of the under-5's was starting to send me insane and when OF suggested we eat lunch there, I begged for mercy and a Croque Monsieur from the market stall which sells all food French.

An hour later, having eaten aforementioned Croque Monsier, purchased aforementioned cinnamon & raisin bagels, allowed SOOF to pick me out some yellow flowers to decorate my living room and endured yet another SOOF temper tantrum, I made my escape.

It was a good ten minutes before I stopped shaking long enough to start the car.

I don't think I'm ready for kids.

I know, at the age of 34, that I should be responding to the tick-tock of the biological clock, but I just seem to keep hitting that snooze button.

Places like Lollipops terrify me.
I don't want to ever have to take my children there but I know they will plead for it.

The Wiggles terrify me.
I don't want to ever have my children listening to one of their CDs but I know they will throw a tantrum if I don't play it over and over and over.

Kids having temper tantrums terrify me.
They don't listen to reason. They just scream until you want to start screaming back.

Plus, kids are exhausting.
After just 3 hours with SOOF I needed a nap. Imagine if I had one 24/7. Actually, no, I don't want to imagine.

I'm going to keep hitting that snooze button a while longer.

And enjoy the fact that I can sit here blogging, whilst listening to the CD of my choice, sipping a glass of red wine and nibbling on cheese and olives.

And enjoy the fact I don't have to get anyone's dinner and try to make them eat their vegetables. Or give them a bath which they'll just pee in. Or put them to bed when they clearly have no intention of going to sleep and will probably wake up crying at 3am.

Yep. I like my life the way it is. Sorry clock. I'm going to keep hitting that snooze button. In fact, you may just get unplugged altogether.

Maybe.

I still haven't decided.

And I just realised. OF and I didn't 'catch up'. We barely exchanged a full sentence the entire time we were out. We were too busy running around after SOOF.

That's no way to maintain a friendship.
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* Son Of Old Friend. Aged 3.
^ Son Of Another Friend. Aged almost 2.

Oh Bob

You make my Mondays. You lovely Trainer Bob you. You gorgeous Tennessee spunkrat.

But Bob aside... who else besides me thinks that Jen, Shannon and Suzanne are total bitches who need to be given a smack around the head?

Everytime I watch those three witches I am more and more convinced they are really Michelle, Linda and Zoe in disguise.

Que?

Michelle, Linda and Zoe were the three biggest bitches in my class in Year 8. They were pretty, popular and they made my life miserable for a good long while, for no particular reason other than that I wasn't strong enough to stand up for myself.

Having escaped high school, changed social circles and then most importantly, spent as little amount of time in my hometown as possible for about 10 years, I have no idea what happened to them.

But from what I last heard, Zoe would make all the girls on The Biggest Loser look like Kate Moss.

That's karma.

Still dying...

But I need a better name for it.

I've decided I don't particularly like the sound of 'Asian Bird Flu'. And I think I deserve a better name than "Common Cold". I'm not common.

In my Nyquil induced stupor over the last few days I've come up with a few alternatives but I am open to suggestions.

So far I have:

Fajita Flu
So named because I have had an intense craving for fajitas over the last 3 days. Lack of energy and decent Mexican restaurants in the vicinity of Erko have prohibited me from indulging this craving however.

Flintoff Flu
In sympathy for Andrew Flintoff and his dud wrist. I hope we're both better for the supertest this weekend. I'd hate to waste the very expensive ticket my lovely friends Britney & Jamie bought me as an early Christmas present.

F*** U Flu
That one should be pretty obvious. I don't deal well with being ill so its best if I'm isolated from the world until I'm well again. Apologies to those I have offended with my snappish behaviour over the last few days.


So as you can see, my ideas are limited. Get those suggestions in people. Email them to me if you have to (you people who read the blog but don't have a blog yourself and therefore can't comment on mine, know who you are).

Best suggestion will win a prize. I don't know what that prize will be yet though. Open for suggestions for that too.

Achy breaky

I think I have asian bird flu.

Or maybe just a really evil, nasty, rotten cold.

Whatever it is, I feel like absolute shit.

I just want to crawl home, put on my flannie jams and dose myself up with Nyquil. Yes, Nyquil. One of the better inventions to come out of America in the last 50 years. Two slugs of Nyquil and you can sleep uninterrupted for at least 8 hours.*

Also highly recommended for long-haul plane trips - especially when you're stuck next to the passenger from hell. Has saved me on many a trip from LHR to JFK (and back again) from having to engage in pointless small talk.

Unfortunately they don't make Nyquil in Australia. Can't think why. I reckon it'd be a top seller. Thank god for my best friend who brought me back a few dozen bottles when she visited her family in the States a few months back. It should hopefully be enough to see me through this bird flu-like ailment.

I'm going to ground. See you on the other side...

Happy weekends all.
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* Cotton you may want to try Nyquil - it may solve your sleep deprivation issues.

Addictions and Leather

Among my many addictions (AFL, alcohol, chocolate, Trainer Bob, Benefit cosmetics, shagging inappropriate men) is an addiction for Ebay.

Seriously.

I am addicted to buying shit I really don't want or need purely for the thrill of "winning"* an auction. I'm on Ebay pretty much every day, bidding away. And most of the sellers on Ebay just give a stock standard description of what they're selling. There's not much to it.

So imagine my delight when Von Krankipantzen posted this fabulous Ebay link on her site yesterday (well, today my time since she's in the northern hemisphere, but let's not get picky here).

I had no idea you could be that descriptive and funny when selling your old crap on Ebay. I'm inspired. But I'm not willing to part with my leather pants (Warehouse, Hampstead High Street, London, circa 1997) just yet. They're my "fight the flabby belly" inspiration item of clothing.

But thanks for brightening up my Ebay addiction VK! Oh and I agree - I wish I'd written it too...
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* paying more money than some other schmuck who's also addicted.

Good things...

This day is turning out to be a great one! Some very good things have happened today. Allow me to share:

This morning I get a call from the producer of a film I auditioned for a few weeks back. I didn't get the role (young mum who is abused by her husband) - they gave it to someone who already had a kid (the "kill two birds..." philosophy). Anyway, this woman has now choofed off o/s and consequently won't be available for the shoot which is this week, so would I be available to take over the role at such short notice?

You betcha baby.

This afternoon I had a meeting with a new agent. She loved me, I loved her, we shook hands on the deal then and there. Its a good feeling to have an agent who you just know is going to work their behind off to get you stuff.

I'm stoked.

And I also have a TVC and another short film coming up in the next couple of weeks.

This has been a good year career-wise. Just shows that if you work your ass off and refuse to give up good things will happen!

*does the happy dance around the kitchen*

Now if I could only apply those principles to my love life...

I hope everyone has as good a day as me! Kisses, hugs and champers all around...

xo

Insanity

I'm utterly obsessed. It's ridiculous. I'm planning my week around it.

I love this man:

And I love him even more after watching tonight's episode.

If you saw it, you'll know what I'm talking about. His pep talk with Suzy. Made my heart melt.

I need a life... or at least a distraction for Monday nights.