Boys! Stop this bickering and let's work this out sensibly. So its Isaiah on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays... Patrick on Tuesday, Thursdays and Saturdays and BOTH of you on Sundays. OK?
Grey's Anatomy co-stars Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington were involved in a heated argument on the set of their hit show on Monday which nearly ended in a fist-fight. Dempsey, 40, and Washington, 43, nearly came to blows during a spat over shooting issues. Washington tells US publication People, "We were like two baseball players... nose-to-nose. We had a difference of opinions while working on set but we've resolved it." Washington, who plays Dr. Preston Burke says the fight began over "time and (keeping) the production going. The communication was lost in translation." But he says no punches were thrown adding, "Our faces are too beautiful for that!" Dempsey's representative says, "In close families arguments happen. They worked it out." Washington added jokingly, "I've never been that close to (Patrick) before. He has really pretty blue eyes."
Well.
WELL.
What wouldn't I have given to be in the middle of that "heated debate"?
McDreamy vs Burke. Ooooooh, its every fantasy I've ever fantasised about. Ever.
Mmmmm...
[goes and splashes face with cold water]
Right. Sorry about that. I'm back.
Our second story tonight comes to you from the country where back in 1996 I was chased by a hippo and ate warthog for the first (and only) time in my life. Two separate incidents of course.
According to those in the know, the Material Girl herself (along with lap dog/director husband Guy "my son is a mini-me" Ritchie) have adopted a Malawian orphan. The "lucky" 13-month-old boy is David Banda, whose mother Marita died shortly after his birth. According to his father, Yohane Banda, "I am very, very happy because as you can see there is poverty in this village and I know he will be very well looked after in America." .
Hmmmm.
The boy's FATHER. Um, Madge? The kid has a father. He's technically NOT an orphan. And hey, Yohane. Do you seriously think that living with Madonna is going to give him a great life? Sure he'll get fed (macrobiotic gruel), clothed (pointy bras) and educated (about Kabbalah) but really. I think he might be better off with you. Seriously.
Is no-one learning lessons from the Nicole Richie story? The girl was adopted by Lionel to supposedly give her a better life and look how f***ed up she's turned out to be. Maybe its a Richie/Ritchie thing. Oooh, it could be a curse!
Anyway. Think of the children people.
Besides which, David is far to sensible a name for the child of a celebrity. Maybe they'll have to call him by his surname - Banda.
Moving right along... Our third story tonight comes from Shittsburgh. Sorry, Pittsburgh. Lovely place. Great restaurants. Cute boys.
Sienna Miller was kicked out of a US bar after saying: "Don't you know who I am?"
The actress, 24, tried to get into Folino's Young's Tavern in Pittsburgh on Saturday night with her parents. But a doorman didn't think she was old enough and demanded to see her ID. She then sneaked inside another entrance before she was caught — and thrown out into the street.
Bouncer Dan Kovacs, a former champion weightlifter dubbed 'Pittsburgh's Superman', said he was working at the South Side bar when Sienna and parents Ed and Jo turned up. He said: "I had told her, 'Madam, you're going to need an ID to get in here.'" "She says, 'Do you know who I am?', and I said, 'No but you're going to need your ID.' "She said, 'I'm Sienna Miller the famous actress', and I said 'I'm Dan Kovacs and I'm for real.' "She says, 'I don't care.' "She stepped back and looked up at the Folino's sign and said 'I'm going to put down Folino's as the worst place and Pittsburgh people aren't anything.'
"She was just really belligerent and arrogant. I was shocked." He said he had enough of her after she tried to sneak in twice. Kovacs added: "We have two entrances and I saw her trying to get in past me. "I went inside and found her trying to buy a vodka and tonic." After that, he says, Sienna's mother appeared with a copy of the local newspaper, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, which had a picture of the actress on the front. Kovacs added: "She showed me the paper and said, 'Do you know who that is?' "Sienna was standing next to the mayor, so I said, 'It's our Mayor.' "She said, 'That's my daughter'. I told her I didn't care."
Owner Tony Folino confirmed: "We do not allow anyone in without ID. She didn't have ID and when she snuck in and the doorman found her, he escorted her out. She was ranting and raving and making a scene. But the doorman didn't care — he was just doing his job."
Last week Miller was forced to make a public apology to Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl after she dubbed the city "S***sburgh" in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine. She later claimed her words were taken out of context. But some locals say they have had enough of the US-born star. And they want her out of the Pennsylvanian city. "I think it's really wrong," said Veronica Adamson of Pittsburgh. "I don't know how she gets away with it. I saw her apologise with the mayor once but twice is just unforgivable."
Nancy Gottlieb told local news channel KDKA: "Sienna Miller is a bubble-head and she should be thrown out of Pittsburgh and never allowed back. I will not watch the movie." A spokesman for Miller, who is in Pittsburgh filming new movie Mysteries of Pittsburgh, did not return calls.
There are several things I like about that story:
Firstly, the quote "I'm Dan Kovacs and I'm for real"
Secondly, the quote "Sienna Miller is a bubble-head"
And thirdly, the fact that Sienna's mother pulled out a newspaper with her daughter's photo on the front saying - "do you know who that is? that's my daughter". Methinks Siennas mommy suffers from stage mother/"trying to be famous through her daughter's success" syndrome.
Bubble head.
Sienna. Mum. Pet. I said love, I said pet. In the plural fashion. Both of you. Get a grip. You're not that famous Sienna. All you did was shag a pretty English boy who is fast losing his pretty boy hair. You're not the first, you won't be the last and quite frankly, behaviour like that is not going to make you anything more than "that bit of fluff Jude Law shagged for a while".
If you really want to keep your career going, take some acting lessons. Cos just like Jude your looks are gonna fade too and then what will you be left with? Appearances on Celebrity Big Brother and Dancing with the Stars, that's what. And no one is going to want to know who you are then.
Apart from dirty old men, nannas with nothing more interesting to do with their time and teenage boys salivating in front of the screen.
So...
Our final news story today comes from Old Blighty. Home of a cricket team who are finally starting to play decently for the first time in years.
Is this their secret weapon?
England has discovered the new Shane Warne, except this one has an on-off switch. Researchers at Loughborough University have invented a machine that can replicate the deliveries of the world's top bowlers, including Warne's "ball of the century".
"It can produce any delivery that's required out there, it can produce any type of swing, any type of spin," one of the machine's developers, Andrew West, told AAP.
Warne's famous 1993 delivery to Mike Gatting left the England batsman stunned when it appeared to be heading a foot wide of the leg stump before turning sharply to clip off-stump. The machine puts spin and swing on the ball with a combination of two spinning wheels and a barrel which uses rifling theory - like the grooves in the barrel of a rifle - to add side-spin. As a result, it can produce off-breaks and leg-breaks, as well as the swing and reverse swing of fast bowlers like Glenn McGrath.
West said the aim of the machine was to provide top-level training opportunities by allowing a team's leading bowlers to rest when necessary while still exposing its batsmen to expert bowling. The machine can be programmed to produce a certain type of delivery repeatedly to help a batsman with a weakness in that area, or mix up the balls to provide a broader training regime.
Ah, yes, but can they program it to send dirty text messages, cheat on its wife, smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish and give the finger to Barmy Army chants of "he's fat, he's round, he bounces off the ground, Shane Warne. Shane Warne."? Somehow I don't think so.
That's all for today. Thanks for tuning in. See you next time, where we discuss Tom Cruise's bit to "get Kate in shape" for their upcoming wedding.
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