Oh Sandy (Arse)

The other night I was overflowing with blog ideas and saved four of them in draft with different titles for future inspiration.

They were titled:

• Boys can't handle the C word
• SATC
• Hamster
• Zig-a-zig AHHHHHHH

Now I can't really remember what each of the last three was going to be about and in the case of the first one, I'm not really sure I'm ready to write about it. So they will have to remain in draft for another day.

They do look rather funny listed like that though.

Today I went to the beach. I haven't been to the beach yet this summer. I'm more of a pool girl. I like the beach but I do not like sand in my bikini, strong undercurrents and stingers in the water. All of which are common occurrences at Sydney beaches. I grew up in Adelaide, a stone's throw from a beach where the only thing you needed to worry about was sharks. And sharks are easy to spot from a distance, therefore really quite harmless provided you're a fast swimmer. No, when in Sydney, I prefer the pool to the beach. And, quite conveniently, there is one just a brief bus ride from my house. Or a slightly longer, sedately paced 25 minute walk, depending on how energetic I am feeling.

But my lovely flatmate (as opposed to the pain in the arse flatmate), was hell bent on a trip to Coogee, so off we went. Took us thirty minutes to find a park, by which time I felt like I was roasting in lard, having liberally doused myself in Reef Oil before leaving the house. Then we had to trek for another ten minutes to find a spot on the sand which was sufficiently near the water and sufficiently far away from the hairy, annoying, lecherous blokes who seemed to be sitting on every second beach towel.

Almost the second I sat down on my towel for a spot of tan-topping-upping, I was covered in sand from my feet to the backs of my knees. I find this incredibly annoying and detrimental to even tanning. I know its partially my own fault, as after all, I am a slave to the Reef Oil, which is quite sticky and sand-attracting. But I do think it is much maligned and quite brilliant for achieving the stunning golden glow I am currently sporting.

All you anti-cancer, melanoma-warning do gooders out there can just pipe down by the way. I am well aware of the risks I am exposing myself to, but as someone who has recently gone through a kick-ass bout with the big C, I am not going to listen to you. I look and feel much better when I have a tan. I may not look good in twenty years time when I am riddled with the stuff but having gone a few rounds with the fucker late last year I am increasingly aware that life is too short not to look and feel good. I will worry about how I will look in twenty years time, in twenty years time. Of course that is pre-supposing I'm still around and let's face it, how many of us can actually guarantee that? A bit morbid, but true. Live for the moment, seize the day. Carpe diem and all that jazz.

So. Where was I? And do I have a point? No. As a matter of fact I don't. Other that than the whole beach experience was a pain in the ass and I will be sticking to the pool in future.

As you were. I'm off to slather myself in cocoa butter and tuck up in bed with my book.

Maybe I'll be more inspired and less ranty tomorrow.

Ch-ch-changes

New Year, new look blog.

I was going to go for the black template, but I thought that was too radical a departure from my customary pink.

I'll work up to it. Slowly slowly catchy monkey and all that.

x

From 4,600 to 5,400

I just looked at my profile info and between about July last year (when I last updated my "Favourite Music" answer) and now, I have managed to accumulate an extra 800 songs on my iPod. No wonder I have no freakin' money!

So.

Hello! Happy New Year to those of you who still even bother checking in on this blog. Show of hands please? Actually, no, don't bother. A lot of you are my Facebook friends anyway so I doubt you even visit here anymore. Ah well. That's actually a good thing. Gives me a touch more anonymity.

Anyone make resolutions? If there's none of you reading then I guess the answer will be no, because there's no one reading, therefore no one makes resolutions... yada yada yada. Shut up Noodle.

I made a few. Some are the same ones I make every year, like getting fit and eating more healthily and drinking less but I know I'll never really stick to those. They're just padding if you will.

This year I have made three resolutions I would like to put "out there" in a bid to actually motivate myself to keep them. If anyone out there is still reading this blog then please do me a big favour and at random times throughout the next couple of months, drop me a line to see if I'm keeping on track. I'd really appreciate it. Of course, if you can't be arsed then that's fine too.

So. Here we go.

Resolution #1
Move house. I have lived in share accommodation since I moved to Sydney from London and its about time I grew up and moved into a place by myself. There are several reasons for this, which include (but are not limited to):

(a) I'm clean. I like to clean the bathroom every week. Sometimes every few days. And I like the kitchen sink to shine. None of my fellow housemates have ever shared this disorder and it regularly drives me insane that I am the only housemate in my current house who sees the need to clean on a regular basis.

(b) One of my fellow housemates is jeopardising my credit rating by continually failing to pay her share of the bills or rent on time and everything is in my name. Also, she manages to rack up a huge usage of electricity through having both a fan and a fan heater on in her room constantly. And she always leaves all the lights on. And several times in the last couple of months she's left the house unlocked and unalarmed. Basically - I can't live with this girl anymore. She's doing my head in.

(c) The other flatmate (who is lovely) will be spending most of this year overseas completing her PhD and doing the film festival rounds with her documentary. And she wants to sub-let which means getting a new flattie in for about 6 months. And who knows what that person would be like and do I really want to bother getting to know yet another housemate? Really, I'm too old for that shit.

So yeah. I need to move house. Hopefully one of my friends is moving out of her flat into a bigger flat with her lovely boyfriend so I can take over her lease. Provided my credit rating isn't completely shot thanks to painful current flatmate. I'm hoping that all this will happen around March.

Resolution #2
Get a better job. I don't necessarily want to leave the company I work for, but I need to get out of the box office. Customers are doing my head in. When you're at the point that you want to regularly slam their heads into the wall because of their sheer stupidity, you know its time to get out. I have a couple of options I've thought up and I'm going to hopefully get a meeting with the big boss sometime this week to discuss them. Neither involves customer service and both involve working the more acceptable hours of 9-5 (ish) with 90% of weekends throughout the year free.

Resolution #3
Save enough money for a trip to the UK and Europe. My aim is to catch the last couple of weeks of the Edinburgh Festival and in a bid to cement myself into actually getting the hell on the plane, I have already booked and paid for a ticket to see the fabulous David Tennant playing Hamlet at the RSC on September 23rd.

So those are my three major resolutions. I also have another one about not getting too upset when the Hawks lose in the finals again this year, but I have a sneaking suspicion that because I am planning to leave the country for the latter part of the season, they will take the flag and I will be on the other side of the world so will not be able to participate in the joy of walking around Sydney singing "we're a happy team at Hawthorn". Bastards. How dare they deny me that pleasure?

I also want to write more. I'm thinking this is a good start.

xo

So You Think You Can...

Sometimes I just don't get this show. They just spoke to each of the bottom three girls in turn and then told Shauna she would be cut. Then they just moved over to the boys and straight up told Cedric he was gone without even acknowledging the other two! Crazy.

I am totally addicted to this show. Its the only thing I'm watching on commercial TV right now... the rest is rubbish. This may be a reality TV show but these people have TALENT. Hok's 30 second "dancing for his life" routine was just fabulous and the routine that Pasha and Sara did to Rockefeller Skank was the most amazing routine - just brilliant!

Those Idle kids could sure learn something in work ethic from these guys.

So anyway!

Long time no type. Lots been going on of late. Want a quick recap? Those of you who said no, smack on the wrist and leave the room now please.

Love Life
Met a boy, was having a great time with the boy for a few months, discovered boy was having text-sex with an ex-fling he obviously still fancied, and it all ended. :o( The crazy thing is that I really miss him. But as the very wise Locket said to me - he's obviously not THAT GUY. If he was THAT GUY then he would not have even thought about an ex-fling, let alone been having text-sex (and I suspect real sex when he went on a trip to Melbourne after we'd been together about a month). Better to find out now and move on.

Ahh the 21st Century. Where you catch your man cheating on you via text message. In keeping with the technological theme he obviously liked so much we broke up via Facebook. Nice.

So that's love life. Not terribly successful.

Work Life
Still at the Toxic Workplace of Doom. Its not as toxic as it was with the old GM, but its still mildly toxic and I really do need to find myself a new job. I know I've been saying that for a long time, but I just can't figure out what the hell I want to do with my life! Suggestions would be welcome. Anything that doesn't involve customer service or sitting in an office all day with a bunch of narrow-minded, upper-middle-class twats would be good.

I've been doing a few voiceovers though. That's been fun. If I could do that for the rest of my life I'd be happy but its a hard market to crack into!

What a pity I can't get paid a bundle of money to sit here blogging my innermost with y'all every day.

Other Life
Not as in "I Have Another Life", but as in elements which don't fit in to the Love or Work categories.

Health has been a bit sketchy this year but I won't go into that now. Not until there's something important to report. Which will be in a couple of weeks.

Ummmm... what else. Nothing interesting really. I'd like to say I'm heading off on a great o/s trip or have met the love of my life or have a fabulous new job but can't say that right now. Its happening to lots of my friends, but its not happening to me right now!

Still. Glass is half full, people.

What's new with y'all?

xox

Guest Bloggers Wanted...

Work (doing my job, plus the jobs of two others) and Facebook have taken over my life of late, hence a lack of blogging.

Anyone want to guest blog while I'm "away"?

Email me at mansfire@hotmail.com and I'll give you the magic info needed!

I will be back soon though... promise!

xoxo

Go Sydders Go!

Ahhhh Sydney. City with the freakiest Lord Mayor ever.

Lookit what Clover's doing now.

Clover's Go Bag

Which looks like this




I think its missing a few essential items like an iPod, condoms, chocolate, wine... anyone else care to add to the list?

Oh and I wouldn't be caught dead in those ugly runners. Surely we can be stylish Clover, when we're "on the run" from the evil terrorists.

God this city is weird.

I think I might need to move.

Lookit who I got an email from!!!

Received on Friday...


Dear Magical_M,

Thank you for registering for Spice Girls Tickets. We are so excited about being on tour again and really hope you are one of the lucky ones who get to come and see us!

Remember to keep checking our website for updates and we may even be adding other dates to the tour!

Lots of love

Emma x Geri x Mel B x Melanie C x Victoria x


I really, REALLY want to see their show. I think it'd be a laugh.

In other nerd M_M news, yesterday I pre-ordered my copy of the final Harry Potter book (and will be in the queue at Better Read Than Dead at 9.01am on Saturday 21 July to collect it). I also booked a seat for the 9.30am session of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix next Wednesday 11 July. My thoughtful boss has given me both days off to indulge my nerdiness magicalness.

I'm off to lunch with my godparents now - they're in town for a visit. Best I go put a frock and a bit of make-up on.

xo

Today's Random Observations

1. Bestie Lulu has been on tour forever. I miss her and want her to come home soon.

2. Friday is the birthday of Bestie Ems. Happy Birthday girl! How is the new house in Antwerp? Has my guest bedroom been painted in the citrus colours I requested?

3. Geoffrey Rush fans are a horrid lot. You'd think if you were such a big fan you would have booked a ticket to his show in advance and not turn up at the theatre on the day with 50 other people to queue for one of a handful of return tickets and then get abusive to the box office staff when you miss out.

4. It's amazing how subscribers' death-bed type illnesses magically disappear when you tell them the entire seasons of Exit the King and Keating! are sold out and they cannot exchange their tickets to another night.

5. It is clearly time for me to stop working in the customer service industry when my standard responses to the following questions are thus:

Customer: "So the only seats you have are right to the side/up the back/standing room only? Can't I get something in the centre?"
M_M: "Beggars can't be choosers."

Customer: "But I just want two tickets. Are you sure you only have one?"
M_M: "Firstly, 'just' is not two. And no, I'm not sure that there's only one - I 'just' thought I'd make that up to annoy you."

Customer: "But I promised my dad / mum / brother / lover / friend / whatever that I'd get tickets for this show and its sold out - what am I going to tell them?"
M_M: "How about 'I'm a disorganised, lying, useless dickhead' for starters?"

Customer: "This is a tragedy!"
M_M: "Yes. I'm sure that starving children in Africa or people who lost their homes in the tsunami would agree with you. Would you like to purchase a bit of perspective?"

If I don't get sacked for sheer insolence in the next couple of weeks it will be a miracle.

6. I'm not quite as addicted to facebook as I was. This is good.

7. I can't believe I waited until #7 for this... MY BELOVED BOYS ARE SECOND ON THE LADDER! Go you Hawkies. Should I book my flight down for the grand final now, or is that being a bit eager?

8. The new series of Doctor Who starts on Saturday. I'm very excited about it.

9. Has anyone else read the book "For Esme - With Love and Squalor" by JD Salinger? I found it when I was back in Adders and the mater set me the task of sorting out the pater's old books. It is quite an intriguing read and I wouldn't mind having a bit of a book discussion group with someone about it.

10. I think ten is a good number to stop on. I need to go and plan what I'm going to cook for the boy tomorrow night. Its the first time I'm cooking dinner for him and he's quite sceptical about my culinary habits given he's only seen me burn toast thus far. I need to impress.

xox

Boy

Still addicted to Facebook. Terribly, terribly, horribly addicted. Is there some kind of support group available? I think I might need help.

So in my last post I mentioned that I was going on a date. I did, it went well, we had a second date, a third date, a fourth date and last night he came and met me after my birthday play (opening night of the third return season of Keating!) and I guess you could call taking me out for breakfast this morning a fifth date??

Anyway. I like. He likes. Watch this space.



Planning a retro 80's post for Saturday... for now I'm heading to bed.

The New Black

Facebook is the new black.

I'm addicted to it. Its taking over my computer time. Time away from THIS BLOG. Pfffft. Shocking, isn't it. I've discovered old friends, workmates, even the odd ex-boyfriend or two. I seriously need to work out my priorities. I also have a MySpace, which is also being neglected in favour of Facebook.

I think some streamlining and prioritising is in order. Daily blogs are no longer really viable for me, so I think this blog is going to become a weekly thing. At least that's the goal. I need to have some semi-anonymous outlet for my ramblings. And I think I might have to ditch MySpace altogether. There's too many wierdo Christian-Bondage-MissyHigginslistening types trying to add me as a friend for my liking.

So!

The trip to Melbourne and Adelaide was nice. Even if I didn't get to see my boys open a can of whoopass over St Kilda at the G. Or my plans for oodles of shopping were nixed by the fact that 3 1/2 months after doing some voiceover work I STILL haven't been paid. Grrrr.

The Mater was pleased, yet flustered by my surprise visit... she had a busy week planned for herself which involved buying a new car. Apparently car purchasing takes months. Took me two hours last time I bought a car... the fact that it ended up at the wreckers less than two years later probably means my approach is not the best one.

Anyway, my sis and I had a lovely time shopping and drinking champagne and eating cheese. And my eldest niece (16 going on 35) allowed me the fun of doing her history homework (an essay on Martin Luther King). She preferred to concentrate on her physics homework and got cranky with me when I couldn't answer some question about quantative somethingorothers.

Clearly we are not genetically related. I couldn't even do the 12 year old niece's math homework, let alone touch a physics paper. But that Martin Luther King paper was fun. She got a decent grade on it too. I think I'd like to go back to uni and study history and literature. I wonder if there's a career to be made in writing essay papers for 16 year olds who have no interest in history or literature?

So, um, what else?

I apparently have a date tonight. A date. You know, with a boy. I say apparently because he has yet to confirm what time and where... and since its now 6pm, I may be stood up yet. I don't have high hopes for my place in the dating world really... I don't think I'm very good at it. Still, you never know. He might be alright. Can't be any worse than the last bloke I went out with.

Anyhow. I have to go and help my flatmate find a new outfit to wear to the Sydney Film Festival opening. Considering its about 13 degrees outside, with teeming rain and gale force winds, I don't think the little black frock we selected yesterday is really going to cut it.

Oh and I missed Amazing Race last night because I was at opening night of an awesome play at work (its called Tender. Go see it... its brilliant), so Bevis hurry up with your recap will you? I hope Charla and Mirna are still in it. They crack me up.

Love to all!

x